Imperfect Affections

“Ah. Yes. Of course.” Maxime moves through a corridor with mint-green walls. “I’m sorry. I’m not myself at the moment.”

“Understandably,” Damian says. “How’s Zoe?”

“Tired.” Maxime’s face darkens. “It was a long birth.”

“How is she doing?” Lina places an arm around Damian’s waist, hugging Josie between them. “And the baby?”

“They’re both fine. But I can do better than tell you. I can show you.” He opens a door and turns the screen, showing a stunningly beautiful Zoe, all grown up, propped up in a bed with a bundle of white blankets in her arms. “There they are.”

“Zoe,” Lina exclaims. “Congratulations. We’re so proud of you. Is everything okay?”

“We’re both fine,” Zoe says, smiling down at the bundle in her arms. “I was more worried about Maxime than anything else. I thought he was going to kill the poor doctor.”

“I wasn’t that bad,” Maxime grumbles in the background.

Zoe laughs, moving away the blanket and showing us a pink-faced baby. “We haven’t decided on a name yet. I wanted to call him Jean, but Maxime doesn’t like it.”

“You did well, Zee,” Damian says. “Congratulations. To both of you.”

I clear my throat. “Congratulations, Zoe.”

She leans closer to the screen. “Leon, is that you?”

“This is my wife, Violet,” I say, pulling Violet closer.

Violet gives a little wave. “Congratulations, Zoe. And Maxime.”

“Oh my God,” Zoe says. “Leon, you look just like—”

“Damian. Yeah, I know.”

“I was going to say Dad,” Zoe says. “And this beautiful woman is your wife? I knew you moved back to Joburg, but I didn’t know you got married.”

“It’s still new,” I say.

“It seems congratulations are in order for you.” Zoe rocks the baby, who starts fussing. “I hope I’ll meet you in person soon, Violet.”

“Thanks,” Violet says. “I hope so too.”

“Does that mean we can expect a visit?” Lina asks.

Maxime’s face reappears on the screen. “Not soon. Not until Zoe has completely recovered and our child has sufficient immunity. I’m going to let them rest now.”

“Take care of them,” Damian says.

Maxime frowns. “Of course. It’s my job.”

A chorus of goodbyes sounds before Maxime ends the call and the screen goes dark.

“That deserves champagne,” Lina says, her face glowing.

Damian hands Josie to her. “I’ll get it.”

“Can we go out on the boat?” Josh asks.

“After dessert,” Lina says. “If Violet and Leon want to.”

“Did you hear, Uncle Leon?” Josh tugs on my hand. “I have a cousin. Do you think he’ll play cops and robbers with me?”

I smile. “I’m sure he will.”

“Cool,” he says. “Now Violet should have a girl, then Josie can have a cousin too.”

That makes me laugh. “Zoe and Maxime’s baby is Josie’s cousin as well.”

“Yes, but he’s a boy.”

“Boys and girls can play together, can’t they?” I say.

“Some girls in my playgroup don’t like to play robbers.”

“And that’s perfectly fine,” Lina says. “There are other games you can play.”

I catch Violet’s gaze. When I married her, I didn’t have concrete plans of building a family or a home. I fantasized about it, but I just wanted her to be mine, to catch her before she could get away. I don’t expect anything from her, certainly not to let me plant my seed in her belly and make her grow big with my child. Yesterday, I wouldn’t have entertained throwing such an idea at her. But now, as I stare into her pretty, reserved eyes, I can’t help but look at her not only as my wife but also as the future mother of my child. And what reflects at me from the violet depths of those expressive pools isn’t acceptance. No, the idea of having my baby doesn’t appeal to her. What I see in her eyes is aversion.