Imperfect Affections
CHAPTER20
Leon
When Gia comes over on Saturday, I light the barbecue and steam mussels on the grill. Having lunch on the deck next to the pool, we talk about everything but the photos.
Violet and I are past the stage of pretending. We’ve come a long way from where we started. We’re no longer strangers who have to keep up a polite front in the presence of company, but I go about the lunch like a good husband, doing the things normal husbands do, not only for the sake of my mother-in-law, but also to honor the vow I made to myself.
I don’t drink any of the wine I open, but Gia and Violet polish the bottle. Violet is a little tipsy and Gia over the limit, so I drive Gia home in her Landcruiser and take an Uber back to our place. Violet has cleared the table and cleaned the kitchen when I arrive home. She’s barefoot, dressed in a blue tube dress that brings out the color of her eyes.
She drags an elastic from her wrist and ties her hair into a ponytail. “I’m going for a shower.”
“Not yet,” I say, wrapping my fingers around her wrist. “Let’s go out.”
“Now?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
“I’m not hungry. We just finished lunch.”
“We don’t have to eat. I want to show you something.”
She perks up. “What?”
“So curious,” I tease, planting a kiss on her lips. “Get your shoes, and let’s go.”
The sun is setting when I pull out of the complex. It’s a warm evening. Violet winds down her window and leans back her head. The wind blows wisps of hair around her face, which she wipes back with her palms. She closes her eyes. A soft, barely-there smile shapes her lips. For the first time since we’ve met, she looks completely relaxed. Maybe even a little happy.
When I put a hand on her thigh, she opens her eyes and turns her face to me. I take my eyes off the road for a second to drink in her features.
“What?” she says.
“I told you one day I’d put a smile on your face.”
“I’m not smiling,” she says even as her lips quirk.
I squeeze her leg and return my attention to the front. She leans over and switches on the radio, searching for a station until she finds a hip hop song. Then she closes her eyes again and drums her fingers on her armrest to the beat.
We drive with just the sound of the radio and the wind. It feels free in the most exhilarating kind of way, maybe because I’m sharing the moment with someone I care about. Suddenly, like a zap of lightning from heaven, it strikes me right in the chest—that elusive carefreeness I’ve been chasing all my life. It’s an elation only surpassed by the high I get when I come inside Violet’s perfect body. I feel untouchable. Invincible.
Mostly, I’m acutely aware of the dangers of life and the many ways in which a man can die. Analyzing the hazards in every situation makes me acutely aware of my vulnerabilities. Focusing on my weaknesses is more than a state of being. It’s a way of living. But with Violet it’s different. I don’t feel vulnerable. I feel strong. If this is what it feels like to fall in love, I finally understand why people make such a big deal about it.
Where the highway splits into the four wind directions, I head north. We carry on for an hour, until we clear Pretoria, and then I divert north-west toward Rustenburg.
The scenery changes from city landscapes to fields of summer grass. Violet has fallen asleep. I steal glances at her gorgeous face, not so much seduced by her beauty as the fact that she trusts me enough to abandon her vigilance and let me drive her to an unknown destination. I didn’t plan on taking her there. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision.
After clearing the tunnel that crosses the Hartbeespoort Dam, I carry on north. Not long after that, we enter Rustenburg. The town holds vivid memories for me. It’s where our last big casino heist went to hell. It was the beginning of the end of the gang.
Another fifty minutes, and I pull onto a dirt road that runs around a dam with a broken windpump. The abandoned house in which we hid out isn’t far from there, but that’s not where I’m heading. I drive to the hill right next to the fence at the end of the farm. The road isn’t well maintained, but the soil is hard. The tracks are manageable if I avoid the potholes and if I’m careful not to drive over rocks with the low underside of the car.
On top of the outlook point, I cut the engine. With the absence of the music and the crunch of the tires on the ground, silence surrounds us. I wind down my window and take a deep breath. The air is clean here, free of smog and pollution. I can smell the red soil and the Acacia trees on the night breeze. It’s a particular smell, one you’ll find nowhere else in the world. A chorus of crickets that has gone silent at the noise of the car chirps up again. A bullfrog joins in from nearby. I’m not going to say I don’t miss this. I just like the fast pace of the city better.
Violet stirs. I brush my knuckles over her cheek, enjoying the warmth and softness of her skin.
She blinks her eyes open and stretches. “Where are we?” Then she gasps.
I try to look at the view through her eyes, to see what she must be seeing. The twinkling lights of Sun City, one of the biggest casinos and hotel resorts in the country, spread out in front of us. The towers of the Lost City that look like a scene from an Indiana Jones movie are visible in the background.
“Is that what I think it is?” she asks.
“Yep. Sin City.”
She glances at the hour on the dashboard. “You drove all the way here?”
I smile. “We didn’t fly.”
“You know what I mean. Why would you drive for two and a half hours to show me a casino? Do you gamble?”
“Never.”
She’s quiet for a moment as she takes in the scene. “It’s spectacular.”