Light Me Up

“Well you seem to think so, getting so excited over gossip, you’re about to buzz around the damn shop.”

“Fair, but I haven’t been able to talk about it with anyone and it’s killing me! She swore me to secrecy but since you obviously already know, I’m not counting that.”

I looked back at Sara, laughing with the teens and taking their orders. She was in command as usual, floating around, making fancy coffees, taking payments, cleaning the counter. The mail carrier came in and handed her a stack of mail, which she took with one hand. Her movements were practiced and graceful, her face light and happy. She made it all look so effortless.

When I turned back in my seat, Ellie was staring at me with her head cocked to the side and her brows scrunched together.

“You really like her, don’t you?”

All the air left my lungs on a sigh.

“I don’t know. I mean, yeah. But I don’t even know what that’s supposed to feel like. I’ve…” I paused to think about what I was about to say. It felt like I was carrying around an enormous boulder and I was reluctant to put it down and face it. I’d known Ellie since she was born. She was family, and I knew she’s never judged me. I was safe with her. It’s not like Sam or Raf and I ever had heart to hearts about women, at least not on my end. If I could be honest about this with anyone, Ellie was the one I’d choose. So I opened my mouth and let myself speak the words I was too scared to admit to even myself.

“I’ve never felt like this before. I don’t know if it’s just because I know her so well and the girls I usually go for are strangers. But I don’t think that’s it. I think… I think I really have feelings for her.”

Ellie didn’t respond at first, just stared at me, like she was sizing me up. But then she slid her hand over to rest on top of mine and smiled.

“I think that’s exactly what’s going on. I’ve thought it was the case for a while now. The way you look at her, the way you poke her. It was like watching a child at recess trying to get the attention of the prettiest girl in school. I just think you’re not used to feeling how you’re feeling and that’s got you confused. It’s new and unnatural to you.”

“It feels so strange, but at the same time, it feels like exactly what I should be doing. I don’t know if I can explain it.”

Ellie looked away, out the window for a moment, some emotion I couldn’t name passing over her face. But then she looked back and squeezed my hand.

“I know exactly what you mean. And I think you’re well on your way to figuring it all out.” She smiled. “You might be a well-experienced Casanova in the bedroom, but you’re new to emotions. You just have to give it time, learn to deal with it all.”

“But what if none of that matters? She doesn’t feel the same, she said it would be best to just forget it ever happened.”

“She’s lying to herself. And she’ll come to realize it.”

“How do you know?”

“I can just tell. She wouldn’t be so secretive about it all if it didn’t mean anything.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, of course. She’s confident, strong, and embraces her sexuality. She wouldn’t protect this if it didn’t matter. She’s scared and trying to figure out her own feelings.”

“I fucking knew it.” I sat up straight with a Cheshire Cat smile. “I don’t know why I doubted myself.”

“All right, calm down, lover boy.”

We laughed and I finished my meal, listening to Ellie tell me about how her jewelry shop was doing and the plans she had for the summer season. It felt good to get out of the office and just enjoy the day. I’d have to get back soon, but this was a much-needed break. And a wake-up call.

If I really felt this seriously about Sara, there was no way I was going to let her slip away. Not without trying. We owed it to ourselves.

“So how are you and your own lover-boy?” I made my face stern. “Do I need to run a background check on him?”

She rolled her eyes but laughed. “No. Things with Derek are fine.”

“Just fine?”

“I mean, they’re good. I don’t know. Maybe I don’t feel as strongly for him as I wanted to.”

“Hmm, well now that I’m very experienced in the manners of feelings, I have to say, that doesn’t sound so good.”

“Okay, Mr. Expert. You get feelings for someone one time—”

A scream came from the kitchen and I bolted up out of the chair. Looking around, I noticed most of the customers were gone. A few teens sat at one of the back tables and a man worked on his computer at the table closest to the restroom. Ellie stood too, her eyes wide.

Sara.

I ran behind the counter, pushed the swinging door to the kitchen open and found her near the desk with a look of pure terror on her face. I put my hands on her arms and assessed her, looking for any signs of injury.

“Sara what happened?”

She looked at me as if she only just now realized I was there. Then her eyes filled with tears and she fell into my chest. My arms draped around her, my mind swarming with questions, but a part of it still took the time to appreciate how right she felt there.

I turned my head to look at Ellie, who had followed me in. She looked just as confused and concerned, but then her eyes widened again and her face went white.

“Uh, Theo.”

I was so focused on Sara, on holding her, comforting her, god, I’d never seen her cry before, not ever…

“Theo!”

I turned back to Ellie. “Yeah?”

Her finger was outstretched, shaking and pointing to something on the ground. I followed it until I saw.

My heart dropped out of my chest, my stomach roiled. What the fuck? I motioned for Ellie to come closer to us, and she got Sara’s attention, prying her out of my arms, and taking her over to the other side of the kitchen.

I didn’t want to let go of her, but I needed to do my job now. I grabbed a pencil off the desk and bent down.

On the floor was the mail, haphazardly laying there after Sara dropped it. On top was an open yellow bubble mailer addressed to The Witch’s Brew in a messy scrawl. Next to it, a piece of white paper and in the same messy print, a message:

I FOUND YOU, SARA

And next to it all, on the floor of Sara’s cafe, a far more sinister message—pink, bloody, deformed.

A tongue.