Light Me Up

Theo’s eyebrows shot up and he sat down again, this time on the couch next to me.

“I guess he got too big for his britches, because he stole from the wrong people. There’s this biker gang down there in the country, Devil’s Rain.” Theo’s eyes widened, and he rubbed a hand over his face.

“I know of them.”

“Ah, well, they were always at war with the inner city gangs apparently. And the cartels that worked in the area. I don’t know if another group put him up to it or if Mitt ordered him. But he and some of his cousins infiltrated the Devil’s Rain compound.”

“Shit. And lived to tell the tale?”

I nodded again. “They made off with five million dollars worth of cocaine.”

Theo whistled and sat back, the shock clear on his face.

“I found out what happened a week later. By then, Devil’s Rain had already traced it all back to Billy. One night, we were sleeping and a group of men broke into the house. I never saw them all, but it must have been ten or so. Two of them beat me. Tied me up.” I hadn’t realized I was crying until the first tears fell off my face and onto my shirt.

“They knocked Billy out and took him with them. I found out later from Mitt that they killed him.” My breath heaved out on a sob.

“The two men who tied me up stayed behind and kept asking me where the coke was. Kept beating me, threatening me. I didn’t know, I didn’t have any idea.” I was wracked with sobs now, my body shook from them.

“I was so scared, I just knew I was going to die that night. And then as the sun came up, they got a call. They hung up and just left me there like nothing happened. I couldn’t move for the longest time, they left me bound and beaten on the floor.

“I laid there, questioning everything. My whole life. I remember thinking I should just close my eyes and hope I fall asleep forever. There was no fight in me, even before that night. I was delicate. Weak.” Theo shook his head but didn’t say anything. Just held his perfect blue eyes onto mine.

“Eventually I managed to get up and find my cell phone. I was too scared to call the police so I called Mama. Her finding me like that was almost worse than going through it.”

At the memory of my mother walking into that room, finding me like that, bloodied, face swollen, arms and feet tied together, I lost it. Every bit of pain from that night—from the years spent with Billy—came out in a stream of tears now.

Theo pulled me into his arms and held me tight, rocking me back and forth in a soothing rhythm. He dropped light kisses against my temple, caressed my hair, whispered to me as he let me cry it out.

“I’ve got you. Let it out, Sara. You’re safe and I’ve got you.”

I’d never let myself grieve for that night. I just packed it up and forced it away. And after years of pretending it never happened, all of the fear, the emotions, the anger came pouring out. Never in my time here in Moon Harbor did I once think that I’d be telling Theo Baldwin all of this, or that I’d feel so safe and so seen in his arms. But I did.

I cried it all out, for what seemed like hours. And Theo just kept holding me, rocking me, keeping me safe. When the tears dried, I sat back and looked at him.

“I don’t give you enough credit.” I told him.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re such a good person, Theo. I’m sorry I didn’t acknowledge it until now.”

He laughed and tucked my hair behind my ear.

“I didn’t always give you the chance. You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

I needed to finish the story, tell Theo everything. But I was so drained. He could sense it. He lifted me up off the couch and carried me down the hall to his bedroom. I smiled as he laid me down on his bed and I caught the same woodsy scent of him on his pillowcase. He pulled the covers up to my chest and turned off the bedside lamp.

“Get some rest. I’ll text Sam and Alex so they don’t worry. We can finish talking in the morning.”

I looked up at his silhouette in the doorway. With the light from the hall at his back, the outline of his well-defined muscles was on display. If I’d had the energy, I would have felt frisky from the sight. Instead, I just felt a deep appreciation. Those muscles held me when I broke down.

“Wait, Theo?”

He turned back to me.

“Yeah?”

“You’re sleeping in here too, right?”

“I was gonna crash on the couch.”

“No. Please. I… I don’t want to be alone.”

And I didn’t. I admitted to myself how lonely I’d been feeling. And for how long. I could have kept going. Being lonely was something I’d grown accustomed to, whether it was hard or not. But tonight, I didn’t just want someone next to me. I wanted Theo. And the realization hit me right in the heart.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Yes.” I couldn’t see his face, but it felt like he might have been smiling.

“All right.”

He went out to get his phone to send that text and turn the lights off. It was dark now when he returned, but I could see the shape of him moving around to the other side of the bed. The mattress shifted as he laid down next to me.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes. Thank you.”