Barred Desires (The Deepest Desires 1)
“Oh my God, don’t fucking s-stop, please.” He’s practically begging, and fuck if that doesn’t turn me on even more.
Stroking him over his pants, a car flies by honking at us, both of us freezing in place.
It’s like the spell has been lifted and we both realize what we were doing… out in the open, on our parents’ street.
We slowly separate, looking at each other in a state of shock, with wide eyes and swollen lips.
“Um…” Luca looks mortified. If I had better lighting, I know I’d find him blushing. “Yeah, we should probably get back.”
“We should,” I say, like it doesn’t physically pain me to take my hands off him. “It’s really coming down now and we’re barely dressed.”
We walk the block and a half back to our house, both of us pretending we don’t have rock solid dicks tenting our sweats.
If this wasn’t so fucking awkward, I’d probably laugh my ass off. It doesn’t take long for things to become a million times more awkward, though, because when we round the corner and head toward our front door, we see my mom.
Standing on the porch, in her robe, looking wildly confused.
I don’t blame you, Mom, I’m confused too.
Glancing at Luca, all color has drained from his face. He looks like he’s seen a ghost.
Again, if it wasn’t so awkward, I’d laugh.
I’m mildly aware that I’m still rocking a semi, so Luca probably is too. Hopefully, with the dim lighting, she won’t notice.
“Oh my gosh, you two!” She comes running down the stairs in her damn slippers. “Where the hell were you?! I heard the front door slam shut, scared me half to death, then I saw that neither of you were in your rooms.”
“Uh... we… uh,” is all we get from Luca.
“Sorry, Mom. We needed some air and wanted to see the snow. We didn’t mean to scare you.”
What?!That’s what I come up with? We wanted to see the snow… in the middle of the night? Smooth, Bran. Real fucking smooth.
“Uh…” Mom looks so confused, again. “Um, okay. Neither of you have coats on?”
“We got excited.”
She looks from me to Luca, then back to me. My poor mom. This is horrible and hilarious all at the same time.
“Well, okay, then. Come inside before you catch colds.”
We both run up the steps, into the house, following my mom silently.
The tension once we’re inside is palpable, none of us knowing what to say or do.
“Are you boys going to bed, or…?” It seems she’s feeling some of the awkwardness too.
“Yup,” Luca replies at the exact same time I say, “Yeah!”
She stares at both of us for a few seconds more. “Alright, then. Goodnight, boys. I love you.”
Fuck. Me. That was all kinds of uncomfortable. She wouldn’t think anything weird was going on, would she? Who knows. I’m too fucking tired to care right now.
Both of us walk silently up the stairs, and once we reach the top, we turn to look at one another. His face is all red from the cold and he’s gnawing on the inside of his cheek, his nervousness apparent.
“Um. Night.” Luca salutes me—fucking salutes me—scurrying off into his room, shutting the door, without so much as a backwards glance.
This night went from weird to weirder.
* * *
Lucaand I somehow make it the rest of the weekend without any more awkward sexual encounters. It rained Saturday morning, so the snow was gone by mid-morning, and we spent the day helping our parents put up Christmas decorations. Our grandparents left last night too, so now it’s only the four of us. Mom wants to make us a big breakfast before we head home.
The thought of being confined in a car with Luca for hours makes me want the ground to open and swallow me whole.
After showering and getting dressed, I head downstairs. The scent of cinnamon hits my nose, making the whole house smell delicious, and I can instantly tell that Mom’s making French Toast. It’s the truth that nothing tastes as good as your mom's cooking. Per usual, she goes all out—French toast, scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon and sausage, and some pastries.
Fuck yes.
Mom hasn’t mentioned Friday night and the incident, and neither has Andrew, so I’m not even sure she told him. I’m unsure if the reason she hasn’t said anything is because she believes us, or if she feels as uncomfortable as we do. Either way, I’m thankful it hasn’t been brought up.
Luca comes into the kitchen, finally, and Jesus Christ, he looks fucking hot. He’s wearing a royal blue Mariners crew neck, with black joggers that do fantastic fucking things for his ass, and black Nike tennis shoes. His joggers show off his ankles—how the fuck are ankles so hot? His dark blonde hair looks like he ran his hands through it expertly, and his blue eyes look so bright in contrast to the darker blue of his sweatshirt.
He fully catches me checking him out, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink. I should be more embarrassed that I’m caught, but I’m not.
The four of us make small talk while we eat, and we make plans for Luca and me to come down for Christmas break in a few weeks. Andrew bought us plane tickets, so we don’t have to drive over the pass. The flight is only about an hour, so that’s nice.
After we finish breakfast, Mom and Andrew help us load everything into the Jeep. Mom is on the verge of tears, which I don’t understand because we’ll be back in a few weeks, but she always cries. “I’m so proud of you boys.” She’s fully crying now. “Drive safe. I already miss you.”
Andrew says something along the same lines, just not with tears in his eyes, and then we are on our way. We stop at the convenience store in town to gas up and get snacks before getting on the freeway. Putting my Spotify playlist on shuffle, I browse through Instagram.
I Foundby Amber Run comes on, and I can practically feel him freeze beside me at the lyrics about finding love in places it shouldn’t be and wanting to give into it.
The air in the car is thick, neither of us daring to speak a word.
I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit thinking about Friday night. It was perfect. His lips and body made for mine. This is the first time we’ve been alone since then and every part of me wants to reach over and touch him, feel his skin under my fingers, bury my face in his neck and inhale his clean, manly scent.