Barred Desires (The Deepest Desires 1)

Luca

Waking up suddenly,the room is dark, and for a second, I’m unsure of where I am. Then the events of dinner, and after, come back to me like a freight train.

Mike.

The restaurant.

Branson.

I told him everything.

Those secrets have never been spoken out loud before, and I divulged all of it to him. I didn’t think I would see Mike ever again. They stopped babysitting me when dad got married to Sarah. She was a stay-at-home mom and would be with Bran and me when dad went out of town on business.

It’s been almost ten years since I’ve had to face my monster.

The door opens, and I squint at the light that’s now pouring in. Branson shuts the door behind him, climbing into bed with me, handing me a glass of water.

“Where were you?” I ask, hating how vulnerable I feel.

“Our parents came home. I went down to show my face to keep them from coming up here. I didn’t think you’d want them to find you sleeping in my bed.”

“What did you tell them?”

“I told them I felt a little better, and that you crashed, tired from traveling.”

“What time is it?” It feels like I’ve either slept for an hour or thirteen, no in between.

“It’s a little after ten. You were only asleep for like an hour and a half.” He pulls me flush against him, placing feather-soft kisses on the back of my neck and my shoulder.

My eyes flutter closed at how amazing this feels, my whole body warming.

Turning over so we are face-to-face, I place a gentle kiss on his lips. His smell engulfs me and it’s intoxicating. My tongue seeks entrance into his mouth, and I groan when he graciously opens for me. I melt into him as our tongues dance together, both seeking dominance. Running my hands down his body, I grip his ass with my hand, pulling him as close to me as possible.

I feel like I can’t ever get close enough to him.

We make out like horny teenagers for what feels like hours. We’re both rock hard, but neither of us moves to do anything about it.

I think he may be scared to attempt anything with me after what I shared with him. What he doesn’t understand, though, is that he helps erase all the bad. He makes me feel whole, safe. Being intimate with him is nothing like what I went through with him. One is light and good. The other is dark and evil.

Despite the series of events that unfolded tonight, I still sleep deeply, with no nightmares.

I know it’s because I’m wrapped up tight in his arms.

* * *

The next coupleof days fly by. We helped Sarah do a bunch of holiday baking yesterday, which equates to her baking and us eating. She also made my favorite dinner last night of chicken parmesan. That is one thing I miss while being away at school; she is a phenomenal cook.

I swear I’m going to gain ten pounds by being home for break. I’m fully okay with it, though.

Tonight, Branson and I are going to Weston’s house to hang out with him and Knox. Aston and Anderson are spending the holidays with their extended family in Texas, and Cash’s parents decided to go to Pullman to spend the holidays with him, so the four of us are going to drink some beers and chill.

A soft knock sounds from my door. “Come in!” I say while putting my shoes on.

Branson comes in, and I can’t help the smile that graces my face. It’s kind of stupid how mushy I get around him, but I give zero fucks.

His face lights up when we make eye contact, and I watch his gaze peruse over my body shamelessly. Him checking me out warms my blood, and I can’t get enough of it. He walks up, kissing me passionately, and I whimper when he pulls away.

I have never enjoyed kissing someone as much as I do with him, and I’m not inexperienced in the least. It has never felt like this. My whole body electrifies when our lips touch, my mind gets fuzzy, and everything around us disappears.

It’s unmatched.

“You ready to go?” he asks while messing with his hair in the mirror.

“Yeah, I’m good. We’re walking there, yeah?” Weston lives a few blocks away, so walking is easy enough, and since we’re drinking, it makes the most sense.

“Yup.”

We head downstairs to find our parents and let them know we’re heading out. They’re in the living room, cuddled together, watching a movie. I envy their relationship. They found each other when they were both in dark places and they formed this beautiful, unbreakable bond. They’ve been married for years now, and while I know it hasn’t always been easy, they never stop making an effort. Their love is clear as day.

My dad loved my mom, no doubt, but that love doesn’t take away from his love for Sarah. I don’t know many details about Branson’s dad or his relationship with Sarah; all I know is he was an addict, and the last few years were rough on everyone involved. I do want to learn more about his dad and what he went through, but I don’t know if he would tell me.

If he hadn’t witnessed me having a public freak out over Mike, I probably would have never told him about my past either. Some things are too personal and hurt too much to divulge.

“Hey, kids.” Sarah smiles as she sees us come into the living room. “Are you guys going out?”

“Yeah, we’re going to Weston’s for a few hours. Knox is there too,” Branson offers, leaning down to give her a hug. “We’re going to hang out for a while. We won’t be too late.”

“Alright, boys, be safe and call if you need us.”

Dad chimes in, “Are you guys driving or walking?”

“Walking. It’s a few blocks away.”

“Okay, have fun.”

It’s chilly when we step outside, which isn’t unusual since it’s mid-December. We both have thick coats on and gloves, but thankfully, our walk isn’t too far. We put in the shared AirPods and turn on our music. I Want It by Two Feet pours into our ears and we zone out together for the remainder of the walk.

We’re about half a block away when Branson pushes me off the sidewalk, up against a big oak tree.

“What are you—”

His lips are crashing down on mine before I can finish the sentence. The kiss is rough and savage, all teeth and tongue. One of his hands reaches down and grabs my ass, bringing my body against his. His other hand flies up to the back of my head, taking a fist full of my hair, tilting my head back and opening my mouth even more for him.

I can feel his dick rub against mine, and it drives me crazy. He swallows my moans, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth.

He pulls away enough to look at me with his cocky smirk, his hand still firmly intertwined in my hair.

“What the hell was that for?” I’m sure I look dazed, and I’m trying to catch my breath.

“I probably won’t get to do that all night, so I wanted to make sure to get my fix in while I can,” he tells me with a wink and starts walking toward the house again.

God, he drives me wild.

* * *