Controlled Chaos (Love and Lyrics 1)

“You knew there was a chance he would be playing there. You bitched about it before I left.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know you would be all fucking over him!” he booms.

“What? I don’t—”

Before I can finish my sentence, he pulls his phone out and turns it around, and taking up his entire screen is a picture of me… and Camden. It was taken when he approached me after his performance. Somebody must’ve been recording them walking off stage, and when he stopped to talk to me, they got a picture.

“I… I can explain,” I say, staring at the image of Camden leaning so close into me, it looks like he’s about to kiss me on the lips instead of on the cheek where he actually kissed me. “It’s not what it looks like.”

“I knew this move was a bad idea.” David glares, throwing his phone onto his desk. “I’m talking to Paul on Monday. They haven’t filled my old position yet. I’m telling him I want it back. Moving here was a mistake. I knew this shit would happen.”

His eyes are manic, and they scare the shit out of me. I get it. Camden apparently had feelings for me years ago, but the fact is, I never knew that, and I never once cheated on David. I’ve given him all of me. Even though he hasn’t done the same.

“You’re acting ridiculous,” I tell him, sliding out from between him and the desk. “You might not like Camden, but you have no reason to act like this toward me. Unlike you, I’ve always been faithful.”

“Really? You’re going to throw that shit in my face again?” David barks, stalking toward me. “It was one fuckup, and I’ve apologized a million damn times.”

“And I forgave you. I’m just pointing out there’s no reason for you to act crazy with jealousy when I haven’t done anything wrong. I haven’t even seen him in five years. Aside from sending us a wedding and baby gift, he hasn’t once tried to speak to me. He saw me standing on the side of the stage and quickly said hello. That’s it.”

“Why the fuck were you on the side of the stage anyway?”

“Because Raging Chaos’s videographer had an emergency, and Bailey asked me to record their performance.”

David’s eyes bore into mine. “Don’t even fucking think about it.”

“Think about what?”

“Getting a job at that fucking record label.”

“Blackwood is a huge label. I doubt they’d even hire someone like me… someone with zero experience.” I step toward him, putting my hands on his biceps, hoping to calm him down. We can’t keep doing this. Going rounds every damn day. It’s exhausting, and it’s eventually going to affect Felix.

“Please stop acting like this. I didn’t know he was performing last night, and when Bailey asked me to fill in, I couldn’t say no. You know how much I love videography. It was nothing more than me doing a favor for an old friend. You have nothing to worry about. Camden isn’t even part of the equation. I’m married to you.”

“Damn right you are, and since I’m the one who pays the bills, I make the decisions, and we’re moving back to Boston.”

“No, we’re not,” I say defiantly. “I didn’t like it there. It never felt like home. Here, we’re close to our families.”

“And Camden.”

“Would you stop with him already? He lives in California. I’m done with this stupid conversation,” I say, walking toward the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To my mom’s. I told her I’d have dinner with her when I picked up Felix. You obviously need time to cool off and figure your shit out. I’ll see you at home.” I glance at the bag of food on the floor we never ate. “Enjoy your food.”

Before David can argue, I’m out the door and speed-walking to the elevator. I should probably feel bad that I blew off his accusations, but the truth is, I have nothing to feel guilty about. Well… except for the fact that I got a tattoo in response to a song that Camden sang about me with the title etched across the top. But in my defense, I was drunk, and it’s not like I got his name tattooed on me. It’s of a camera, something that has meaning for me.

Jesus, if David is pissed about me simply going to a concert where Camden was performing and talking to him for a quick second, I can’t imagine how he’s going to react when that song hits the radio, and he hears it. Hopefully, he won't listen to it since he hates everything about Raging Chaos. Because if he does, I have no idea how the hell I’m going to explain this tattoo. And there’s no way I’m moving back to Boston. He can scratch that crazy idea right out of his head.