Controlled Chaos (Love and Lyrics 1)

“Oh, check out that guy eyeing you,” Bailey says, her words coming out a bit slurred. I don’t even bother to look.

“He totally is,” Cynthia agrees, waggling her brows.

“Nope, not happening.” I shake my head to emphasize my point. “I’m on a hiatus from men.”

“Oh, fuck,” Gage says. “Again?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you did that shit our junior year, right before you chose to go out with David the Dick.”

“Huh… I did, didn’t I?” I shrug. “Well, at least I didn’t get cheated on during that year.”

“David cheated?” Bailey gasps.

“Yep,” I say, choosing not to elaborate. “I’ve only seriously dated two guys in my life, and both cheated on me.” My eyes drop to the shots of liquor. I grab one, down it, and slam the empty glass on the table. “What does that say about me?”

“It says absolutely nothing about you and everything about them.” Camden twirls me around so we’re facing each other, our chests almost touching. “You’re perfect, Layla. You’re smart and sweet, and those assholes cheating on you is their issue, not yours.”

“Maybe.” I shrug, suddenly feeling kind of sorry for myself.

“No, not maybe.” His large hand covers mine, and he pulls me over to a more secluded area, pushing me gently against the wall. “Do you have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?” He drags his knuckles down the side of my cheek and neck, landing on the spot where my tattoo is. “And this tattoo? It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

His touch causes chills to race up my spine, and my entire body visibly shivers.

“Tell me the truth, Shutterbug.” He leans in and whispers into my ear. “Why did you get this tattoo? And don’t you dare say it was a drunken mistake.”

“I… I never knew you felt that way,” I admit, not quite answering his question but also kind of answering it. “I was shocked, confused… Bailey and Kaylee knew. Hell, even David knew, but I didn’t. I drank… a lot, and then I got the tattoo. But… no,” I murmur. “It wasn’t a mistake.”

He leans back slightly, his face only inches from mine.

“Nanna saw it,” I continue. “It peeked out of my top one night when I was picking up Felix from my mom’s. She loved it. Said she always knew you had feelings for me, and it was about time you admitted it.” I laugh softly, shaking my head.

“When we spoke in the hospital, she mentioned you got divorced,” he admits. “We were supposed to come up with a plan of attack.”

“For what?”

“To break down your wall and get you to fall in love with me.”

Holy shit… He’s not holding back at all.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me how you felt?”

“Isn’t that the million-dollar question…?” He rests one hand against the wall next to my head, and the other goes back to my face, dusting several strands of sweaty hair out of my eyes. “It never felt like the right time. You were either taken or on an anti-boyfriend kick.” He playfully rolls his eyes, making me laugh. “And then, before you were about to leave for college, I was going to. I was gonna throw it all on the table… And then all that shit went down at the party, and you posted that David proposed, and I… fuck, I just felt like maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Gage and Brax needed me, so I left.”

“Without even saying goodbye.”

“It was too damn hard. You needed to focus on your future, and I needed to be with my band.”

“And now that I’m divorced, you’re back?” I tilt my head up slightly, and our mouths are so close. If Camden just moved a little closer, they would touch.

“This is my second chance,” he says, shocking me. “I let you go once, but I can’t do it again without telling you how I feel. I’m in love with you. I probably have been since the day I saw you crying on your front steps. I know you need time to get over David, and I’m going to give you that time.”

“Cam,” I gasp. “I don’t know—”

“You don’t need to know anything right now except that I’ll be waiting for you to be ready, and once you are, I want my chance with you.”

“I can’t jump into something again. I have Felix now, and… I barely know you. Yeah, I knew you years ago, but we’ve both changed, and this time, I need to be careful. It’s not just my heart that’s at stake but also my little boy’s too. We haven’t hung out or talked in five years. I might not even be the same girl you once loved. I meant what I said before… we’re practically strangers.”

“I get it,” he says, smiling softly. “And the fact that you’re protecting your heart and your son’s only makes me love you that much more.”