Hooked by Love (Bellevue Bullies 3)

“Thanks, Lucy. I gotta go.”

She stands with me, kissing my cheek. “Let me know what happens.”

“I will.”

As I go out the window, she grabs my arm. “It will work out, Jace. You two got this.”

I lean toward her, kissing her on the cheek. “Thanks.”

I pray she’s right.

And that Avery thinks the same.

She will.

Now is not the time to stop being cocky.

When I pause, Lucy looks at me as I say, “I forgot something.”

“What?” she asks as I rush through her door and out into the house, but I don’t answer her.

I can’t.

Not yet.

Not until I talk to Avery.

This place is scary.

Looking around the front office, it looks as empty as I feel. I’m the only person in here except for the receptionist, who is making copies of my ID. I want to leave. I wanted the ditch this idea the moment I called and made the appointment when I stepped off the plane.

But this is the only option.

Man, where is Jace? I really need him. I can’t believe he left. When I felt him get up, I didn’t stop him because I thought he was using the bathroom. When he didn’t come back, I assumed he needed some air. Who could blame him? Last night was a clusterfuck of insane, and I’m sure he’s freaked out.

Just as I am.

While I know this is the smartest thing to do, the only logical thing to do, I was really hoping he’d ask me not to. I thought maybe he would want it and then I wouldn’t be so scared. Because this doesn’t feel right. It feels so wrong. Maybe I should just keep it and give it up for adoption. So many people can’t have babies, and I’m doing this? That’s not fair to my baby…shit… Why did I say that? Because now I want to keep it. Truthfully, I wanted to keep it from the beginning, but the fear of doing it on my own has led me to this.

Fucking fear, it ruins lives. It really does.

But I can’t do this on my own. I’m not strong enough. I mean, I might be by the time it comes. I’ve gotten so much better, but I owe that to Jace. He’s helped me grow, to find my confidence, to love myself. And I hoped he would tell me we could do this. I really needed him to tell me I wouldn’t be doing this on my own, that he would be right beside me. He did say he’d stand beside me, but he was frozen in fear. He doesn’t want this. He couldn’t. He’s on the fast track to the top. Where does a baby fit into that? How can a baby fit into it? Especially when I want to do big things, too? God, why wasn’t I smarter? I was so worried about falling for Jace, I didn’t realize what could happen in the process.

A baby.

Our baby.

Fuck, I can’t do this.

Panic shakes my body, my leg is bouncing so hard, and I’m tearing my nails apart. I don’t want this. As my chest goes tight, I know I’m two seconds from having a panic attack.

I have to get the hell out of here.

Standing up, I go to the window, my heart throbbing against my ribs. “Can I have my ID, please?”

The receptionist’s brow rises as she hands it to me. “I was about to call you up. Are you paying cash or credit?”

But I shake my head, my eyes flooding with tears. “Neither.”