I Never Planned on You (I Never 1)

“That summer, it was an adjustment for all. Zach stayed in Philly and I decided to stay local and attend UPenn instead of California. Zach and I found ourselves hanging out, seeking comfort in our friendship when he would come home. He even brought Ky back a few times. By the time I moved into the dorms, our friendship had blossomed into something new.”

“And that’s when you guys started dating?”

She shakes her head. “We were still just friends although my roommate was convinced otherwise. We hung out on the regular. We would help each other study, attend parties together, drive home together for holidays.”

My heart breaks at the realization of all I missed.

“After Emmett’s birthday I was having a hard time again, and your brother took me to a carnival. There was something that was happening that neither of us could explain. So, he got me on a Ferris wheel of all things and asked me on a date. I know we used to make fun of him because he didn’t have a romantic bone in his body and his idea of a nice date back in high school was McDonalds and making out in the back of a movie theater.”

I laugh at that memory of how awful my brother was, yet he always had a girlfriend—go figure. I’m actually impressed right now.

“But with me he went all out—well, he tried. He showed up at my dorm with flowers and had made reservations at a fancy restaurant downtown. Things didn’t exactly go as planned, but things never do. When we got back to my dorm, he didn’t try to invite himself in but kissed me good night. And oh my God.” She starts to blush, and I feel nothing but love for them. I am actually happy for them.

“That kiss, Dani, was seriously the best kiss of my life. We’ve been kind of inseparable since, well, minus this one little misunderstanding.” She smirks. “We healed each other. I mean, it’s still quite a process, but we’re doing it together. He makes me really happy.”

“And you make me really happy,” Zach adds as he walks in and sits on the arm of the couch next to her. I blink a few times just in awe at this.

“Why didn’t you tell me,” I ask more confused than ever now.

They both look at each other before Haylee says, “I didn’t want to overwhelm you with all of this. Zach wanted to tell you right away, but I was afraid that you would leave, and we’re just getting you back. So, I told him to wait while you adjusted to being back.”

She looks down at her feet. “I actually live here too. I have been staying at a friend’s apartment who is out of town. I just didn’t want to throw this in your face. A lot of things have changed since you left. I even made him take down photos of us.” She points to the empty nails on the wall. I look over and remember how I thought that was odd upon my arrival, but I never remembered to bring it up to Zach or Kyler since then. I thought maybe it was like where photos of either of them and an ex used to be, but in fact it was Zach and Haylee. I don’t know what to think now. This is a lot of information to process at once.

Zach clears his throat as I take another sip, finishing off my coffee, and place the mug on the table. “On nights when I said I was working late, that wasn’t entirely the truth.” I raise my eyebrows at him, and he holds up his hands as if in surrender. “Okay, that wasn’t true at all…I was with Haylee. I didn’t like hiding it from you, but I needed to respect Haylee’s decision. But after our fight last night, I went straight to her place and told her I was done hiding. If you were going to be back in my life, then I wasn’t going to hide from you, and if you couldn’t accept that, then…” He trails off, but he doesn’t need to finish.

I scoot closer to them and reach out to grab Haylee’s hand. I pause, thinking of the words to say. “I’m sorry you felt you needed to hide this from me and that I made the past three weeks difficult for you by forcing you to sneak around. I’m here—I don’t plan to leave either—so it’s time I start making up for lost time and fix the mistakes I’ve made, starting with you both. I love you both so much, and I don’t want to come between you two. So, I’m sorry for everything I put you through, but you found each other, so I guess maybe something good came out of my leaving. You guys look happy even though it may just take some time for me to get used to.”

Haylee starts to cry, and I pull her into a deep embrace like we used to do. I want my best friend back. I’ve missed her and hate that Zach was right. I was selfish, incredibly selfish, trying to deal with my own grief, that I didn’t think at the time how my actions would affect those around me. While still holding on to Haylee, I reach my hand over to my brother, and he takes it in his. I squeeze his hand and meet his eyes. Without using words, he knows I’m sorry for what I said yesterday.

Our moment is interrupted when we hear a throat clearing behind us. “Breakfast is ready,” Kyler chimes in. Zach is the first to rise and follow him into the kitchen. As Haylee and I rise, I place my arm around her shoulder and she puts her arm around my waist.

“Okay, what do you say first thing after breakfast we put those pictures back on the wall,” I say.

She nods and replies, “Sounds good. Then we can catch up when I go get my stuff and bring it back. Your brother has had enough of this separation. Looks like I’m coming home.”

I find comfort in knowing that my best friend lives here too, that my brother wasn’t alone, although it is definitely not something I expected. It seems like a lifetime ago since we spent time together, just us. We join the boys at the kitchen table, and I laugh when I look down at the for breakfast—cereal and fruit. Oh my, I think I moved in here just in time to save these boys and their poor attempt at cooking. They definitely have a lot to learn.

I sit down next to Kyler, and our knees accidentally brush under the table. I quickly pull my legs up, crossing one leg over the other away from him. Our eyes meet for a moment, and I remember what it was like to wake up next to him—or, well, I guess partially on top of him. His body was warm, and hard. I could tell that he works out. Well, I know he does because I’ve seen him with his shirt off, but to actually feel his body and have his arms around me… I don’t know what I’m feeling about it. Our eye contact is broken when I hear my brother’s voice.

“So are you going to see Mom and Dad soon?” Zach asks.

I slowly push the food in my bowl around. “I will. I promise.”

Zach gives me a stern look, but Haylee smiles over at me and places her hand on mine. “It’s okay, Dani. You’ll go when you’re ready.”

I’ve crossed off reconciling with Haylee from my list. Next up, my parents. I know I can’t hide from them forever.

I t’s been a few days since the big reveal of my brother and best friend not only being together but living together. I guess a lot has changed while I’ve been gone. I’m happy for them, but it’s still a little weird for me. I never would’ve put the two of them together, but they seem really happy. I truly hate that they felt they needed to hide this from me, though, as if I were a fragile bird or something. Who am I kidding—it would have definitely freaked me out, but I feel like my arrival may have disrupted their lives. If Zach and I hadn’t had gotten into it the other day, would they have waited to tell me still?

The quiet here at the house is nice. There always seems to be a lot going on. It reminds me of growing up in our house; it was always busy. The quiet used to terrify me. I mean, it’s still a little scary but a nice break from everything. Tonight, Zach and Haylee asked if I wanted to join them for dinner out and then a movie, but I graciously declined knowing they deserved time alone. Kyler was also out with his sisters. I haven’t met them yet, but from the stories I’ve heard, I think we would get along. I think it’s sweet he is so close to them.

I’m deep into my second scary movie, wrapped up under my favorite blanket, and my empty bowl from dinner on the coffee table, that I don’t even notice the sound of the key opening the front door. I jump halfway off the couch when the door opens a little too quickly, hitting the wall behind it. Thankfully I had placed my glass of wine back on the table, otherwise it definitely would have spilled all over me and the couch.

“Jesus Christ!”

“Nope, just me!” Kyler throws his hands up in the air to claim innocence. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“You didn’t startle me…you scared the shit out of me,” I state a little too loudly, but I feel like I have to raise my voice so he can hear me over the sou