I Never Planned on You (I Never 1)

Sweet Jesus! These two are too much. I throw my phone into my desk drawer to avoid any other distractions. I have enough of those in my own head. But what would be so bad about asking her, besides exposing her to my crazy family? We’re just friends—I can say it’s my job as her friend to get her out of the house. Yeah, I could do that.

I grab the first paper in the pile and end up reading the same line four times. Okay, I’ll just text her. The worst that can happen is she says no. As Kate said, grab the bull by the balls and text her. Shit, I’d love for Dani to touch my balls. Fuck! This is why this isn’t a good idea. I place my head in my hands with my elbows propped up on my desk. What the hell is wrong with me?

After having a heated debate with myself and being distracted yet again from these papers, I take my phone out of my desk, pull up Dani’s name, and type out a text:

ME: Hey

Really? All this time debating if I should text her, let alone invite her to join us, and all I say is hey? It feels as though an eternity goes by, but by the time my phone buzzes again, it has really only been about two minutes.

DANI: Hi.

DANI: How’s your day going?

ME: It’s busy… too much work to get done.

DANI: Then how come you’re texting me?

Why am I texting her? Because I’m thinking about her? Because she’s on my mind all the time? Because I care about her? No, I can’t send any of those responses.

ME: I needed a distraction.

DANI: So I’m a distraction? Lol

ME: Something like that ??

ME: How’s your day?

DANI: It’s fine.

ME: Well, that’s not very convincing.

DANI: No, it’s fine. Really. I spent the morning baking.

ME: You’re going to force me into working out a lot more with all these treats.

DANI: Shit, you figured out my master plan all along. Evil laugh.

ME: Do you have plans tonight?

The conversation between us is so easy, I’m not sure why I was so nervous. But it’s been a few minutes now since I sent that last text. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so blunt. When I see the three dots indicating her response, my heart begins to beat a little faster.

DANI: Ummmm… Zach called and has to work late and Haylee is studying. So… I’m thinking I’ll be hanging out with my good friends Vada Sultenfuss and Thomas J

ME: Huh?

Who are these people? New friends? I’ve never of them before. Are they hanging out at the house? Maybe I should cancel dinner and act as though I didn’t have plans tonight and just go home.

DANI: *Face Palm* Seriously? My Girl! The two main characters. Come on, Ky, really?! I’m insulted. This is my ALL TIME favorite movie.

ME: Nope, never seen it.

DANI: Well shit! I’m not sure we can be friends anymore.

Fuck! Where did this go all wrong?

DANI: I’m just kidding! Bet I had you there, huh?

ME: Is sarcasm and being a smartass a Jacobs thing?