I Never Expected You (I Never 2)

“You did this to me. You’re never coming near me with that thing again.” I rested my head against the pillow after another contraction passed.

I could finally breathe. They were getting stronger and closer together.

“Sweetheart, you’re doing so great. You look beautiful,” my fiancé spoke sweetly, brushing the sweaty hair out of my face.

I turned and narrowed my eyes at him.

“Shut the fuck up, Zach, or I’ll chop that thing off and feed it to you for dinner,” I said through gritted teeth. I was exhausted and ready for this to be over.

“You can’t cook, Hails.”

Another contraction hit, and I reached for Zach’s hand, nearly crushing it.

“It’ll be a burnt penis then!” I roared.

I threw my head back, looking over at Zach after releasing his hand. I stuck my bottom lip out at him. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean it.”

Zach’s eyes were focused on his hand that just felt the wrath of a woman in labor. “You’re a monster, Hails.”

I ignored his comment. “Can you hand me some ice chips?”

Zach cautiously walked over to me with a cup of ice in one hand and his other covering his dick.

I almost laughed, but another contraction hit the same time he handed me the cup, causing ice chips to fly everywhere…

Throughout the day there has been a constant flow of visitors in our room from our parents, Dani and Ky, Cami, and even Ky’s sisters. Zach won fiancé of the year when he somehow convinced everyone that mom and baby needed some rest time. Okay, so maybe our family won family of the year too by actually agreeing. Although I thought we would have to pry that sweet baby out of her aunt and uncle’s hands. I can already tell that Emme has her aunt Dani and especially her uncle Kyler wrapped around her finger, even at only a few hours old.

I don’t even remember falling asleep, but I needed it. Sleep the last few days of pregnancy has been basically nonexistent, and don’t even think about resting during labor.

I try to push myself up and wince at the sharp pain in my abdomen. I have to suck in a breath as I take it at a slower pace. Now sitting up, I have a full visual of Emme sleeping in her father’s arms. I already know she will be a daddy’s girl; there is no doubt about that.

Watching them together, I am reminded of the moment we first heard her cry once she was born, and tears had run down both of our cheeks. It was seriously the happiest moment of my life when the doctor laid Emme on my bare chest. I never knew instant love at first sight until I looked into my daughter’s eyes for the first time, eyes that mirrored my own. Her crying calmed as I introduced myself as her mommy and Zach as her daddy.

Zach’s voice is soft, just barely above a whisper as he talks to her. I think I just fell further in love with this man. I relax back into the bed and close my eyes in an attempt to rest again, but my eyes shoot open as his voice grows a smidge louder and I hear what he is talking to her about.

“And your mom showed up with this douchebag Chad, so I had something to prove she was mine and that I had fallen in love with her.”

“What the heck are you telling our daughter over there?”

Zach’s eyes shoot up as if he was just caught red-handed in the cookie jar, but as his eyes meet mine, his features soften before he returns his attention back to our baby girl.

“I’m telling her the story of us, how her awesome parents came to be.”

While that is adorable, the story is far from appropriate. I hold back my laughter to keep from feeling the pain.

“Zach, you can’t tell her that story.”

“Why not? She should know how romantic her daddy is and how her mommy almost made a big mistake where this little one’s dad could have had a microdick instead of this.” He points to his pants, and I groan.

“Okay, for starters, babe, can we not mention microdicks around our daughter? Or really any dicks for that matter. I just popped a 7 lb 12 oz baby out of my hoo-ha.” Zach’s ears perk up at the mention of my ladybits. I hold up my finger in protest. “Oh no, don’t even think about it. The candy shop is closed for six weeks—you heard the doctor.”

I choose now to change the subject. Sleep deprivation and cohesive conversations do not mix.

I straighten up. “Now bring that baby over here before everyone gets back and I have to fight off baby snuggles with our moms and your sister.”

He chuckles. “I think you’d have to fight off Ky more. Who knew he was so good with kids? He’s a natural. They’ll start popping out kids soon, I bet.”

“Why don’t we let them get married first?”