I Never Knew Love 'til You (I Never 4)

Chapter 16

Jaxon

There’sashortlist of things I shouldn’t have done in my life.

In high school, I shouldn’t have allowed my friends to convince me it was a good idea to be pulled on a skateboard by a tow rope attached to a golf cart. It resulted in a screw holding my broken wrist together.

I shouldn’t have agreed to compete in the spicy tuna roll challenge with Finn. We had to eat ten spicy tuna rolls, each upping the heat level. I made it all the way to roll ten while Finn had tapped out at only number five. I got sick as fuck after that and even had to bail on attending Courtney’s best friend’s wedding with her. She was so pissed.

While kissing Kate in a dark alley isn’t on the list, running away like a coward surely is. I’ve spent the last few days at Courtney’s parents’, escaping my feelings, thinking about the what-ifs if we weren’t interrupted, and I allowed my doubt to crawl into my mind. Would I have fucked her right there in the alley?Absolutely. She deserves much more than a quick fuck against a brick wall, but that would have only been the beginning.

Adding to that list is accepting the invitation from my best friend when he picked Andy and me up from the airport this morning to come over to celebrate a “low-key” New Year. However, when their family is involved, that alone makes quite the crowd. Now I’m forced to stand here and watch Kate interact with some guy she showed up with.

In the months since I moved here, I have never actually seen her with someone before. Is this all a way to get back at me? If so, I deserve it—or even worse.

I’d rather have her anger than her silence. What’s keeping her from making a scene right now? I want her to call me out on my bullshit. To tell me I was an ass. And I would tell her she is correct. I want to push her against the wall and finish what we started, not watch another man’s hand draped all over her. She’s barely thrown a glance my way all evening, but the few times I caught on to her, her gaze told me everything I needed to know—she wanted me to hurt like I hurt her.

“You know, you might want to take a picture. It might last longer.” Finn clasps a hand on my shoulder. I tried to hide my shock at being caught by bringing my glass to my lips.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

With one last glance over his shoulder, Finn turns to face me with his arms crossed. “I know something happened, but I won’t push for it now.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” There’s no conviction in my voice, though.

“Right. I’m here when you want to finally come to terms with it. I’ll be here no matter what.” One of the many things I love about my best friend is that he will wait for me to come to him. Maybe talking it out and getting an outsider’s perspective is what I need. I don’t know what to do, so I just nod.

“Look, I’m sorry for taking off like that without notice and needing a few days.” I grip the back of my neck, hating that I did that to him.

“Jax, calm down. It’s fine. We didn’t have much going on with it being the holidays. And want to know a little secret?” He leans in closer but does not lower the volume of his voice. “We’re the bosses. We can do what we want. Well…” He pauses and twists his lips before looking over his shoulder at where his sister sits on the floor with Liam in her lap. “Within reason, otherwise I’m pretty sure Kelsey will have our asses.”

We both laugh, knowing that is totally true.

Finn clears his throat into his fist, and it draws my attention to Kate and her date walking toward us. I’m not ready for this. I can’t guarantee I won’t make a scene, so I take the cowardly way out.

“I’m going to step outside. Can you watch Andy?”

He nods, understanding that I need some space. He clearly knows more than he lets on.

When I step outside on the back patio, the cold air nips at my skin. Shit, it gets cold here. I regret not thinking this through and grabbing my coat.

A sniffling sound beside me causes me to jump. My eyes adjust to the darkness, and I turn to find Dani sitting alone at the patio table.

Dani looks up, noticing me, and stiffens. Her eyes are glazed over. She’s either high as a kite or has been crying. I’m pretty sure it’s not the former, so I tense. What could have caused her tears? I hate when women cry. I just never know what to do.

“Sorry, you must think I’m a hot mess.” She wipes under her eyes.

“Oh, no, not at all.”

“I just needed a minute.”

“Trust me, I get it. Same reason I’m out here. I just needed a minute. I can go back inside. Sorry to disturb you.” I turn to head back inside.

“Oh no.” She rises from her chair. “You can sit. There’s plenty of room for us both to have a moment.” She gives me a soft smile.

I take a seat beside her.

“My hormones are still just all over the place still. Pregnancy is kind of like when you first transition into a vampire. All your emotions become heightened.”

“Wait, what?” This conversation seems to have taken a turn off course, and I’m not sure I follow the analogy.

She laughs, sensing my confusion. “Sorry, during late-night feedings, I’ve been re-watching The Vampire Diaries. Kyler makes fun of me because I keep comparing things in real life to the show. I see I’m doing it again.”

I’m not familiar with the show, so I don’t understand the reference, but I do get the uncontrollable hormones, at least during pregnancy. Courtney once cried while watching a Michael Myers movie and cried because it was said that he was supposedly killed. The human body is quite strange.