Stir

“Imogen he is not who God has for you.” He shouts from the floor like a pansy ass. My girl looks stricken at his words and now I want to choke him all over again for putting more doubt in her mind. Shit. I am already fighting against the doubt she already has. So, I take the reply from her and turn to him.

“I may not be from God, but you are nothing to her.” When I turn back to my girl, she is biting her lip looking unsure. I simply bring our entwined hands together and kiss her knuckles. “Are you ready beautiful?” She doesn’t answer me or move at first.

“I don’t know what you want from me, but I am not like other girls.” She says sealing her fate even further.

“I know, baby.”

“I mean I have never even kissed a boy. That kiss between us earlier was my first.”

“I know. I could tell and you know what?” I wait for her to shake her head. “I love that I am going to be your first everything.” Everything. Forever.

“First everything?” She is asking the question, but the rapid acceleration of her breathing lets me know she is clued in.

“Don’t worry about it, baby. Let’s get to class.”

Class is a chore in patience and sainthood. She is sitting next to me, her fresh scent permeating with the ventilation in the room. Every brush of her thigh against my leg is like a match being lit and not fanned, it is simply flickering under a glass dome waiting to be let free. At one point, we had to quiz one another on a chapter we should have read and lo and behold it is about abstinence.

I can see the conflict within her and I want to take away the doubt. Shred the hesitance and replace it with fact. She is MINE. End of discussion. But, now is not the time. So, instead when she turns to me and asks me which verse I focused on last night, I tell her. “2 Timothy 2:22. Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” She looks shocked at first.

“Why this one?” she asks genuinely curious.

“It fits this moment right now. Doesn’t it?”

“How so?” She scoots closer, clearly comfortable with the topic and engaged.

“Well, we are in our youth and you have a pure heart. Yet, what this scripture is saying is that you cannot be young, kind, pure and show and convey love and peace for others if you are not chaste. I find it hypocritical.” I say shrugging my shoulders. “It is not true plain and simple.”

“Interesting. I look at it differently. I think he is speaking of what he wants us to have as adults and he is warning us that if we give ourselves to just anyone, so young and without thought, we will doom our hearts to be crushed and broken and therefore may not be open to faith, love and peace.” Her face lights up when she talks about this.

For the first time I doubt what I am going to do. It is obvious she believes what she is saying and what does it say about me, that I am intent on corrupting all of it?

“That will be all class. Have a good day.” The teacher breaks up the panic and once again I am pulled back to my mission. She gathers her books and I grab her hand as we walk to fourth period. No words are spoken between us, but it is ok. Just having her hand in mine is enough.

“I will be right here to get you for your next period baby. Wait for me. Ok?” She nods and turns away. My palms are itching to pull her back to me and make her kiss me. To tell her everything will be alright, but I don’t. I need a moment too. Speaking of needing a moment, I think I need to change my schedule to fit hers. I told you, she has turned me into a stalking, breeding, possessive asshole.

When I make it to woodshop, Rory is already there. I decided on the way to class to use his knowledge of everything in this town and school, to make my life and my girls life easier. “Hey man.” he says, hitting me on my back. It annoys the fuck out of me, but I have to endure it in order to get what I need.

“Hey yourself.”

“So, my old man talked to me about you.” He says as he preps his tools.

“Oh yeah. What? He warned you to stay away from me?”

“No. The opposite actually.” That surprises me. My head shoots up, disbelief visible.

“He says your dad’s custom shop is going to create hundreds of jobs for this town and bring in new business. He told me to help you with whatever you need. No questions.”