Her Four Cowboys

“Me too,” Austin agreed, pulling all our attention to where he stood in the back of the living room. “I’ve had deeper feelings for you than I’d like to admit from the jump. Maybe it’s just that I’ve been burned before—”

He paused, and we all gave the statement space as we remembered everything that his shitty ex-wife had put him through. It was no wonder he had trouble letting people in after everything that had happened.

“—but that’s neither here nor there. Our new dynamic, the way that we’ve been playing off each other since you’ve come home. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. It just got worse—or better, I guess—after the night that we slept together. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now: I feel like we could’ve avoided a lot of this if I’d just opened up to you, and I feel like a dumbass.”

She sighed heavily, her entire body seeming to let go of the tension that she’d been carrying since she walked in as she stepped forward and set her glass on the table. As for the rest of us… it wasn’t really as though we let go of the tension, but we were definitely a little more at ease than we had been before we’d all begun to talk to each other. It was a little bit like the tension in the room had changed.

Looking around at all of us, she shrugged her shoulders. “So… where should we go from here?” she said. “I have feelings for every one of you. Strong feelings.” She swallowed hard. “Every one of you affects me differently.”

I looked around at my brothers, blinking a few times. I could see the longing in their faces as they looked at her, and I knew that I felt it too. I didn’t want to force a single one of them to give her up, not when they were looking at her like that.

I also knew just how hard it would be for me to surrender her, as much as I loved all of them and wanted them to be happy.

Immediately, and with all the clarity of a lightning strike, the final piece fell into place, clarifying exactly why Adam and Andy had made the decision that they had.

I understood all of it completely.

I cleared my throat, getting the attention of everyone in the room, which felt like it had landed on me with physical weight.

“You know,” I said, each word coming out of me in a slow, measured way, “I’m thinking that maybe… maybe our little brothers were right.”

Her eyes went wide as she stared at me, her mouth opening just a little at my words.

“What if you didn’t have to choose?” I asked, looking around at each of my brothers in turn once more. All of them had started a little bit in response to my question, but now they were settling into the possibility behind my question, and they all nodded in turn.

My heart began to speed up at the possibility of getting exactly what I wanted in this very unexpected way; of coming away from this with the woman who’d turned my world upside down, and with each of my brothers getting what they wanted too.

Selfishly, I felt wonder at the way that everything seemed to have fallen into place for me, and I took a step toward her.

30

LUCY

I was not prepared.

Like, not even a little bit for the words, the looks in their eyes, or the influx of emotions that I felt as Aaron spoke.

I’d been girding my loins for them to start shaming me; for them to call me a whore, to yell at me in disgust and for every single one of them to turn away from me when they realized that they wanted nothing more to do with me.

I couldn’t have predicted—not in a million years—that they would give me another chance, or that they would look at me with anything other than contempt. I’d been expecting at least a few more glares than the ones I’d already gotten.

Not this. Not this acceptance. Not this love.

I’d prepared myself to have every hateful statement you could imagine hurled my way, but I hadn’t prepared myself for this. It got into the crevices of my armor and sank into where I was vulnerable. The stinging behind my eyes was the first clue that I wouldn’t be lasting much longer, and then—seemingly without warning to the guys—I burst out crying.

I was so relieved that all the wind seemed to be knocked out of me in one blow, and I heaved a sigh as I brought my hands up to cover my face, crying into them.

“Lucy.”

The voice was Aaron’s, as were the big hands on my upper arms. I collapsed bonelessly against him, his strong arms going around me automatically as he held me against his chest. I could feel the steady beat of his heart against me as I cried.