An Italian Dream

8

STELLA

After just one day trip, the girls were already moaning. Stella had flashbacks to when Jacob was six and Chloe a pre-teen and the effort it had been to keep everyone happy when they went out. That age gap was difficult when both kids wanted vastly different things. Now Chloe was an adult, the last thing Stella was going to do was force her to come out.

Chloe and Amber decided on a lazy day by the villa pool, followed by an evening exploring the rich nightlife of Capri. Fern was keen to go to Villa Jovis, a Roman villa built for Emperor Tiberius. As they set off, Stella wondered if the tension between Amber and Fern the day before had instigated the day apart. No harsh words had passed between them, but it was noticeable how they hadn’t really talked to each other at all.

Stella also acknowledged the harsh reality that even though the girls had been more than happy to come on holiday with them, spending all their time with their mums was vastly uncool. Stella had stopped going on holiday with her parents as soon as she was old enough to be left on her own and the idea of her ever going out with them for something beyond a meal was foreign. She spent little enough time with them now, let alone when she was a wayward teen. Why should it be any different with Chloe, just because she thought of herself as a cool young mum?

It was an unseasonably warm spring day. Stella had to admit it was refreshing to head out of the touristy heart of Capri town along the Via Tiberio. Ugh, that thought made her feel like a middle-aged tourist, which was so not how she wanted to be perceived. Wouldn’t staying at the villa, topping up her tan and having a dip in the pool have been preferable? She shook the thought away; she was spending time with her friend exploring the island – nothing wrong or middle-aged about that.

The walk was long but eventually worth it, even if her feet were aching and sweat stung her eyes. Perched on a hillside looking out towards the Bay of Naples where Mount Vesuvius dominated the skyline, Villa Jovis had a prominent position. The walls of the villa had crumbled, but the footprint was there, remarkably evident considering it had survived since the first century B.C.

Stella smiled as Fern gave her interesting titbits as they wandered around – she’d obviously read up about the place. Tiberius’ Leap, rumoured to be where Emperor Tiberius had chucked unfortunate servants and guests off the cliff to their death, was the one that stuck with Stella. She could think of a couple of exes she wouldn’t mind doing that to…

‘I bet they had some wicked parties here,’ Stella said as they wound their way back up through the ruins. With its idyllic setting, it wasn’t hard to imagine how luxurious a place it would have been for a powerful emperor of Rome.

‘A tonne of debauchery, for sure.’ Fern flashed her a knowing grin. ‘You’d have loved it.’

‘Yeah yeah, I don’t deny it; Spartacus is my favourite series ever. What’s not to love about sexy, semi-naked gladiators? Apart from all the blood and guts, ancient Rome is my kinda vibe.’

Fern laughed. ‘I prefer Bridgerton.’

‘Ha ha! Of course! The Duke.’ She almost said that Fern deserved to be treated as well, but she held her tongue. Paul was certainly no Duke of Hastings.

They paused on the top walkway of Villa Jovis to catch their breath. A light breeze kissed their hot skin, welcome after the climb.

‘Sightseeing always makes me feel so… adult.’ Stella sighed as she gazed over the sprawling ruins to the sea glinting in the sun.

‘What are you talking about?’ Fern frowned. ‘You are an adult.’

‘I know, but I think it stems from being forced on day trips by my parents when I was, like, fourteen. I hated being dragged to some boring castle or cathedral when I wanted to spend time with my friends. I can see it with Jacob now, rolling his eyes at the mere mention of going somewhere with me. I don’t know, doing stuff like this makes me feel old.’

‘Well, we’re certainly not teenagers any longer.’

‘That we’re not.’

Even though the words were true, they hurt. Perhaps without being conscious of it, Stella was struggling with the idea of turning forty. Even winning the Lottery couldn’t change that stark fact. She couldn’t rewind time, however much she wanted to. But their youth… She wished she could recapture it, at least the essence of it, the feeling of freedom that being young offered.

‘Remember back in the day when we’d go clubbing all night and not drag ourselves out of bed until the middle of the afternoon,’ Stella said, thinking back to a time that felt distant, almost as if it had happened to someone else.

‘You still go clubbing, Stella.’

‘Yeah, I know. It’s just not the same. Back when we were seventeen, we didn’t have to think about anything else. We lived just for us and for the weekends. We were selfish and self-centred and I know now how much of a nightmare we were for our parents, but those days…’ She gazed wistfully across Villa Jovis before turning back to Fern. ‘Do you still think about our life back then?’

‘Sometimes, but it feels a lifetime ago…’

‘It is more than half our life.’

‘Yeah. Saying it like that really doesn’t help.’

The earlier heat had dissipated and the sun was gentle, pleasantly warming Stella’s shoulders. She looked out at the same view that emperors of Rome had gazed upon centuries before, wanting to give Fern the opportunity to say more; she sensed a sadness whenever they talked about the past.

Stella decided to give her a verbal nudge. ‘What are you thinking?’

‘Honestly? If I’ll ever be that happy again.’

‘Oh hun, don’t feel that way; you’ve got loads to look forward to.’