An Italian Dream

FERN

Fern managed to avoid Amber for the rest of the day. Amber and Chloe went out in the evening and Stella kept Fern company at the villa. They had a simple but delicious seafood salad for dinner before watching a film dubbed into English. It passed the time and Fern was happy not to talk. She was happy not to think about anything either. She tried hard to push what Amber had said to the back of her mind, but it was seeded there now for her to worry over. Stella was probably just being kind, staying back with her rather than enjoying an evening out. Fern knew she was hardly a bundle of laughs. As she headed to bed early for a second night, she vowed to be better company from now on.

* * *

After the previous disastrous mother-daughter day – for Fern and Amber at least – there was no argument from anyone when Stella proposed they spent the day separately. While Amber and Chloe decided to head to rocky Faraglioni to swim and sunbathe, Stella suggested that she and Fern went shopping. So after a lazy morning by the pool, they did just that, exploring the boutiques on Via Camerelle and poring over designer labels. They shopped for lunch too, buying focaccia, tomatoes and a local cheese to have back at the villa. The sun-drenched streets were narrow and filled with people. The shop windows competed for attention, purple bougainvillea cascaded from balconies and little cafes with outdoor tables enticed tourists with coffee and pastries.

Later that day, they took one of the colourful open-top taxis to a restaurant on the other side of the island with a large terrace that overlooked Marina Piccola. Fern didn’t think the view from the villa’s pool could be beaten, but there was something about the setting that was wonderful. Maybe it was the time of day, with the sun going down to reveal the magic of twilight. The opposite cliff face was silhouetted against a pink sky that deepened to mauve and then a dusky blue by the time it merged with the sea. Villas, nestled among dark-leafed trees, glowed invitingly and the myriad of winding lanes were ablaze with warm light. Out in the calm bay, boats were lit up too, the light reflecting onto the glassy surface of the water.

A waiter brought them a bottle of white wine, poured their drinks and took their food order.

‘The girls are missing out,’ Fern said the moment the waiter left.

‘I’m sure they’ve found somewhere equally as lush. Plus, I don’t think they want us tagging along on a night out.’ Stella raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow and sipped her wine.

‘Oh I know. I have no idea why I imagined they would. It’s been interesting…’ Fern paused, uncertain that interesting was actually the right word. ‘It’s been eye-opening spending this much time with Amber.’

‘Oh?’

Fern wasn’t sure how much Stella had gleaned about the disastrous end to her day with Amber, but her tone was cagey. ‘She’s such a closed book. I really don’t understand what’s going on with her. I miss the closeness we had when she was younger. I don’t know, she became a teenager and everything changed – I know that’s to be expected, I barely talked to my parents in my teens, but it was a huge shock just how much she pulled away from me. Amber became more distant and Ruby and I became closer.’

‘For identical twins they’re very different, aren’t they?’

‘Totally. But Amber… there’s this hardness about her. She looks down on me. She made such a snide comment about not wanting to turn out like me. Pathetic and a failure.’

‘Oh my goodness, Fern. She doesn’t think about you like that.’

‘She does Stella, she told me as much yesterday.’ The conversation with Amber had hurt her no end. It upset her just thinking about it now. ‘You know it’s not far from the truth.’

Stella opened her mouth to say something, then presumably thought better of it.

‘See,’ Fern said, sounding smug yet feeling devastated to know the way Amber felt about her was obvious to others too. ‘She said stuff about Paul as well… disrespecting me and taking advantage.’

Stella sipped her wine and looked at her thoughtfully. ‘You shouldn’t let her talk to you like that.’

‘No, I know.’ Fern drew in a shuddery breath. ‘The trouble is, a lot of what she said is how I’ve been feeling, but she’s made me see it with such clarity.’

Stella frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

Fern’s heart raced and her palms were sweaty. Despite the pleasantly mild evening, she suddenly felt uncomfortably hot. ‘I’ve felt like this for a while, that I’m just going through the motions. Life is monotonous. It’s hard to explain… I’ve felt lost since the girls left home. I know they’re back in the holidays and I have the house to look after, Paul too…’

‘You shouldn’t be looking after Paul. Amber’s right about that.’

‘Don’t go there again, Stella.’

Stella looked away and picked up her glass of wine. As she stared at the view, Fern could sense the cogs whirring as if she was working out what to say.

Stella turned back. ‘You need to start thinking about yourself more. Figure out what you want and quit worrying about everyone else.’ She held up her hands before Fern had a chance to say anything. ‘I know that’s easy for me to say, but from the little you’ve said and the way Paul and Amber have been treating you… I’m worried about you, that’s all. Anyway,’ she continued, ‘it’s something all young adults go through, defying their parents and putting them down. It’s normal, even if it hurts.’

Fern wasn’t convinced. After all, Amber was well past her teens – it felt personal, an attack on her very being. Maybe she was being too sensitive. She let the subject drop.

The waiter returning with their starters was the perfect distraction. They focused on their food, barely saying anything beyond making ‘mmm’ noises as they each tucked into a Caprese salad. For such a simple dish, Fern had never tasted anything quite like it. The fresh, almost peppery basil was offset by the sweetness of the tomatoes and the smooth creaminess of the buffalo mozzarella.

‘That was unbelievably good,’ Stella said, the moment she finished her last mouthful.

Fern nodded and sipped her white wine. ‘Everything here is better than I imagined. I thought it was going to be over-the-top glitz. I mean, there are some super dressed up, obviously wealthy people around, but the island itself is more beautiful than I thought.’

‘I know, right?’ Stella said with a grin. ‘And it was down to pure luck.’