An Italian Dream
Stella looked at her sheepishly. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to suggest that something had happened between you and Matteo, I just hoped it had.’
‘Would that have made you feel less guilty, if I’d slept with him? And you know full well why I didn’t.’ She glared at her. ‘I’m not like you.’
‘No, you’re not. Do you know how much I’ve envied you, since we first met? I envied how popular you were, how effortlessly pretty you are, with your rosebud lips and flawless skin. And I envied you for capturing Paul’s heart.’
‘You mean ensnaring, don’t you? Isn’t that what you think I did with Paul by getting pregnant?’
‘No. God, Fern, no. I know it was an accident. You wanted to go to university and escape your parents, escape everything. I knew you weren’t really in love with Paul.’
‘But you were?’
Stella shook her head. ‘I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not. I envied you, that’s the honest truth. I still do. You’re the loveliest person I know. Me and Paul had that one-night drunken thing, then he got serious with you. I kinda expected you two to eventually fizzle out and then who knows… When you got pregnant… I don’t know, it changed everything really.’
‘It mainly changed everything for me. I was stuck living with my parents while you escaped to university, met new people and managed to get a degree before your “accident” happened. But by then you were in a far better position than I was.’
‘You didn’t have to marry Paul,’ she said matter-of-factly.
‘Oh really? You don’t think so? What options did I have besides staying at home with parents who were hugely disappointed in me? Paul did the right thing, although I’m pretty certain he thought about walking away. We had pressure from both sets of parents. We’d been stupid and were skint. What else do you think we could have done? And I fancied Paul. Back then, I probably even believed it was true love. I focused on us as a family and made the best of a bad situation. I would never have chosen to have kids that young. It was hard bloody work and I was grateful to Paul for stepping up and shouldering some of the responsibility. And maybe that’s why I’ve turned a blind eye to things, because he could have walked away, but he didn’t. However he may have behaved since, he did stick by me.’
‘You don’t owe him anything, not any longer.’
Fern knew that was true, but it wasn’t as straightforward as simply starting afresh. She shivered in the cool of the hallway. With the girls upstairs, the villa was quiet. She wondered where Violetta was, hoping that she wasn’t overhearing this conversation. She was probably in the kitchen preparing food for when everyone arrived. Worry gripped her again. Stella was watching, waiting for her to say something.
‘Does Rhod know about you and Paul?’ she finally asked.
‘I don’t know.’
‘Did you have sex with Paul when you were with Rhod or Gary?’
‘No. I was single when it happened and it was the one time. I promise.’
‘Apart from the time before Paul and I got together. So twice.’ Fern took a deep breath and steadied herself. Oddly enough, she felt quite calm. Anger, hurt and frustration simmered beneath the surface, but she needed to hold it together, for Jacob’s sake at least. And Ruby’s. She had no idea if Ruby knew any of this, if Amber had ever talked to her, or if she’d questioned the reason why her dad had decided to join them all in Capri for the last few days.
With the imminent arrival of their families, the sprawling, elegant villa suddenly seemed claustrophobic. Soon there would be four more people to add to the mix, and more tension. Fern made a decision to be the better person and approach the situation with calmness. There would be plenty of time to talk to Paul away from everyone else, but she was not going to cause a scene.
She looked coldly at Stella. ‘Is there enough space for everyone? Because he’s not sleeping with me.’ She faltered, but was unable to refrain from having one final dig. ‘Although, of course, there’s always your bed, isn’t there.’
She walked away to ready herself for the arrival of Rhod, Jacob, Ruby and her goddamn husband.