Something New
“Maybe I already have.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m saying you never really see how toxic someone is until you get the opportunity to breathe fresher air. I know the day isn’t over yet, but things are a lot different than they were a few hours ago.”
“Meaning?”
“Well, for one…I’m single, and for two,” I paused, chewing on my bottom lip for a few seconds before speaking, “Elijah, I’m pregnant, and the baby is yours,” I blurted out.
Elijah
Those words repeated in my head long after she said them. “Elijah, d–did you hear what I said?” Isa asked.
“It’s mine?” I quizzed, surprised at myself for even getting those three words out.
“Yes.”
“When did you find out?”
“Week ago,” she admitted.
“And you were just not gonna say shit to me until when? After your honeymoon? Her fifth birthday or his high school graduation?” I grilled.
Isa sighed into the receiver. “Up until a few hours ago, I knew exactly how the next fifty years of my life would play out. And now I don’t know a damn thing.”
I sucked my teeth. “What do you wanna do, Isa?”
She answered my question with a question. “What do you wanna do?”
“Oh, now I get a decision in the fuckin’ matter? Shit ain’t work out with your first choice, so now it’s okay to give me the option to be a father to my fuckin’ kid?”
“Elijah, please, I–”
“No! That shit is fucked-up, and you know it.”
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I was prepared to take this terrible secret to my grave to save my ass, knowing the truth would come out in nine months. I don’t know. Maybe I was just trying to buy myself some time. I don’t know.”
“You’ve said a lot of shit, and an apology ain’t been in none of it.”
“I screwed up, okay? I shouldn’t have kept this from you, Eli. Let me just–”
“Nah, Isa. You, of all people, should fuckin’ know how I feel about family. My family was taken from me, and here you are doing it again! I thought you were different, but you ain’t no better than none of these other hoes.”
“Elijah, can we please just talk about this?” she sobbed.
“We’ve said all that needs to be said, and I can’t fuck with you, Isa. You’re not who I thought you were. You played yourself.”
“I’m sorry, Elijah. I see how wrong I was. How wrong I’ve been in keeping this from you. I should’ve told you the minute I found out, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say the words. You’re at the apex of your career! What will you do with a baby by a girl you barely know? I–I just needed more time to figure something out!”
“More time for what? To figure out how you would pin a fuckin’ Black baby on a white man? Explain that shit to me, Isa! Because ain’t nothin’, you can fuckin’ say to me to make that shit okay! And don’t you dare say you did this shit to save me. You kept it from me to save your ass! That decision ain’t have a damn thing to do with me!” I hollered.
My blood was boiling. There was a time when I could see Isa becoming my sun and my moon, even though a relationship went against every fiber of my being. But I could barely stand to hear the sweet sound of her voice. Isa continued to sob loudly on the other end of the phone, and I didn’t give one fuck.
“You’re right. I’m a monster. I’m a complete monster!”
“You keepin’ the kid or not?” I asked abruptly. I wasn’t about to be the only guest at her pity party.
“Y–yeah.”
“Aight, then. Keep me posted on whatever gotta do with the baby. Outside of that, I don’t wanna hear shit from you.”
Isa sniffed. “O–okay. Elijah, I ca–” *click*
I ended the call in a huff, unable to stomach any more of her excuses. I was going to make sure I was there for my kid, but any future I may have seen with Isa was dead on arrival.