The High Priestess (The Tarot Club 3)

“But I should have known, for those who are marked for greatness seek out those who are equally great.” Zoey’s voice strained as she repeated my grandmother’s words, and I was almost certain that I could hear the sound of her bangles jangling together, reminding me of all those intricate details that I had once assumed did not matter.

The smell of lavender tinged the air, and I knew that my grandmother was there with me, even if I couldn’t look into her eyes that were so like mine.

“I can’t stay in this village. I can’t live and die here without doing nothing except serving these people. I just… I just can’t do it.” The weight of my confession was met with silence, but I wouldn’t lie to a dead woman, even if it meant that I would experience her wrath.

The silence stretched on so long that I thought perhaps Zoey had been disconnected until, finally, she cleared her throat and spoke.

“You are bound to the village, but that binding was always your own doing. A bargain is afoot, one that will see you released and entering a relationship far greater than anyone in this plane could ever have imagined, but remember that just because you will no longer be bound to the village, that doesn’t mean that the village is not where you belong.”

The chain around my chest seemed to loosen slightly. I was going to get free. Of course the dead never dealt in timelines, so I knew that the realization of her words may very well only come into fruition in years, but for the first time I felt the tangible taste of hope pepper my tongue, explode against the roof of my mouth in a way that made me feel excited for what the future held once more.

Once more, before I could allow that knowledge to settle beneath my skin, shifting my bones and destiny in a solidifying way, Zoey was talking, relaying everything my grandmother wanted to say in life but was forced to share in death.

Even beyond the grave, the old woman had a lot to say.

“My child,” she spoke the endearment that had my throat constricting with emotion, making it difficult to swallow past the lump that had taken up residence there. Traditionally, my people had children young, and my grandmother - and even my mother, were no exception. After my mother’s death, so many who didn’t know us had assumed that I wasn’t the granddaughter of Jeanne des Montagnes, but was in fact her daughter, and over the years we stopped correcting people because for all intents and purposes she was my mother. She raised me, fed me, and clothed me. She taught me Magick and helped me welcome my first menstrual cycle. She made sure that the hollowness I felt whenever I thought about my mother were small moments of emotion, never allowing it to engulf me - define me. “You have taken on the debt of another, and before you can move forward - unbind yourself from the land and your element, you need to settle your debts.”

And just as quickly as the chain around my chest had seemed to ease only moments before, so it constricted again, robbing me of my breath, muddling my thoughts with my lack of oxygen.

The memory of Corinne’s ceremony, of how Dimitri had looked at her, and in that moment I knew that the two deserved a clean slate to start the next chapter of their lives on, and so, acting as the High Priestess, I had transferred her bargain with the Demon Summoner of old, to me - it had been my gift to them.

Zoey lost the connection, but I knew that it was Jeanne des Montagnes ending a conversation because she was done.

“You still there?” Zoey’s voice jolted me back to the present - back to the darkly lit tent where I had allowed a Demon to destroy me - back to the rumpled sheets which I sat naked on top of - back to the space where I was suddenly alone with Zoey on the other end of the line, the only person who knew what I was experiencing.

“Here.” It was one word that I forced past my lips, out of sheer will, because I couldn’t leave Zoey hanging simply due to my silence.

“You okay?”

And this time as the swell of emotion lodged itself in my throat, making it difficult to breath - difficult to talk - and difficult to swallow, I could only grunt by way of reply.

“Okay,” Zoey exhaled softly, “call me when you’re ready to talk.”

I loved that she intrinsically knew what I needed - knew that I sought silence, wanted to slink back into ignorance, even if it hadn’t been blissful.

Because suddenly it all seemed too much.

I had taken on Corinne’s burden, transferring her debt to myself with the Demon Summoner who was a shade himself. A Demon stalked me, wrung pleasure out of me, and fled. Twice. I had to resolve a bargain with the river - my element, in order to free myself from this land, and I was fairly certain that Nicu had arrived here with the sole purpose of merging our two clans through the proposal of marriage.

Such happenings occurring at the same time could not be deemed a coincidence. Something felt off as if we were all being played somehow in the name of destiny. But while I believed in fate - in reading our futures, I had never once believed in destiny. I couldn’t be a Witch worth her stock in Magick if I didn’t believe we couldn’t alter our outcomes through the use of spellwork.

I exhaled, willing the panic gripping my chest to ease, knowing full well that things weren’t adding up. What were the chances of having a Demon Summoner and a Demon both tied to me simultaneously? I allowed my shoulder blades to rest against the sheets as I lay down, shutting my eyes and willing my mind to wander - to explore, in an attempt to gain more clarity and to process what my grandmother had just said.

I evened my breathing as I meditated in the way that brought memories back from my childhood, imagining the hard earth at my back whilst the sun shone over the grassy plains I chose to reside in. Sometimes those days had been filled with Julian sitting silently at my side, others I was entirely alone. I allowed the sound of passers by to filter in, encompassing the noise into my meditative practice rather than attempting to block it out.

I spiraled down within, ignoring the ugly jagged pieces that I refused to show any attention to, skipping over the internal shadow work I knew needed to be done, but not today, until finally I was met with my debt.

He seemed to prick up, circling me in my mind’s eye, the Demon Summoner a projection of my imagination, but at the same time, still a very real entity. And I couldn’t tell if it was a state of meditative connection or if it was a dream - couldn’t determine what was reality and what was imagined, but I was too far gone to care.

The man was young - handsome, even, but there was a sinister glint in his eye, his gaze sweeping over me as if he saw me as nothing more than a tool to be used - a woman to be wielded.

This was the spirit that Corinne had made a deal with? I shivered, unable to hide my repulsion, for there were those who learnt the practices of Magick through nefarious means - those who had no right casting spells derived from our ancestors. But to summon Demons was a practice only few could control - as knowledge was shared through the ages, more and more of us were able to share exactly how to practice such an art safely, but he was not of that generation. He was not a man who bargained with the Devil for his own gain, he was something far more sinister, for he bound the Demons, bent them to his own will to achieve the unnatural.

And that was not what Magick was. By its very definition, Magick was natural - it was nature incarnate - it was energy and matter - it was everything and nothing all at once.

He had not been a man who simply stuck a faustian bargain, no, he had sought to control, manipulate, and expand his empire by any means.

The spirit that circled me in my mind's eye was an abomination to Magick, and I allowed that knowledge to seep between us - allowed him to see that I knew exactly what he was.