The Truth Behind a Smile

Stephen thawed when he felt the burn of an oil droplet land on his cheek after the grease in the skillet popped sending the sizzling bead about three feet hitting Stephen who stood halfway between the stove and the door. He composed himself, made his way to the table, and sat down to patiently wait for his breakfast. Even though he knew what the gun was for, something prevented him from confronting his parents.

“Good morning, y’all.” Stephen’s father walked into the house from the front yard.

“Was just checking in on Franny and making sure that her engine’s running good. Don’t want her stopping on us on the way to the airport and definitely don’t want her stopping when I’m on my way back by myself.” He chuckled softly.

Stephen was mortified by his parents. He couldn’t understand how they could be so calm, as if this were any other day, but they knew all too well that something horrible was going to happen after Stephen left. They’d never do it while he was still in the house, not with the way he behaved the night before, so they’d wait until he was on the airplane, and it was already too late to turn back. Even knowing all this, Stephen continued to sit at the table in silence, patiently awaiting his meal.

“Hey bud, you got your bag all ready?” Stephen’s father tapped him on the shoulder.

Snapping out of his daze, Stephen looked up.

“Uhm yeah, it’s all ready and packed. It’s just sitting on my bed, I figured we should probably head out right after breakfast just in case we run into any snags on the road.”

What was that? Stephen couldn’t understand why he’d just asked his father to take him to the airport earlier. He’d cherished every moment spent with Kane, and now, after seeing the truth behind his visit, he suddenly wants to cut it shorter. He’d left himself speechless.

“Yeah, that makes sense. Once we wrap up here, you can say your goodbyes and we’ll head out.”

Your goodbyes, he thought to himself. Did his father say that because it was normal for a father to remind his child about what to do before departing for a flight, or was he secretly telling Stephen he might never see them again? Stephen felt sick, worried he wouldn’t be able to eat the breakfast his mother was making him, and which would prolong his stay. He felt guilty about that as well, which in turn made him feel even guiltier. It was a confusing and vicious cycle of self-hatred that Stephen couldn’t get himself out of.

“Here you go, sweetie. Enjoy!” Amelia placed the Monte Cristo in front of him and kissed him on top of his head.

It was the quietest meal Stephen ever ate. No one at that table spoke once the food had been served, and Stephen’s mind ran blank as the time for his departure grew nearer. Surprisingly, he managed to finish the titanic sandwich, and although it was one of his favorite meals, he couldn’t remember tasting any of it that morning. After he’d finished, he sat at the table staring at his empty plate instead of taking it to the sink and washing it as he always had when he’d lived with his parents.

“Is everything okay, sweetie?” Amelia asked.

Stephen looked up sharply. “What? Oh yeah, yeah I was just thinking about what I, uhm, had to do once I got back to Texas.” Stephen lied since his mind was simply blank.

“Umm, I guess we should get going huh?” Stephen glanced at his empty plate and then at his father.

“Sure thing. Let me go and warm up the truck.” He got up from the table, kissed Amelia on the head, and bid her farewell before heading out.

Stephen stood up slowly. His mother stood too and put her arms out to hug her son. Her eyes began to glow red and become glossier, which happened any time he had to go leave back to Texas, but this time the smile she shared with her son had an ominous aura.

“Don’t worry, Mom, I’ll be back soon. I love you.” Stephen hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

Stephen turned around and faced his lifelong friend, who sat on the kitchen mat, patiently awaiting his turn to say goodbye. Another painful smile spread across Stephen’s face as he walked over and crouched down to Kane’s level.

“I’ll see you soon too buddy. Don’t worry. I know you’re the strongest dog in the world. I’ll be back and we’ll spend a lot more time together, okay?”

Kane licked his friend’s face before Stephen grabbed him tightly and pressed his face against the side of Kane’s head, kissing him and breathing in deeply, his nose buried in the thinning fur. “I love you,” Stephen whispered as he gave his friend a last squeeze, leaving a small, wet patch of fur on Kane’s neck.

Stephen got up and collected himself. He sniffled and gave a little wave goodbye then turned around, grabbed his duffle bag, and walked out the front door. He didn’t look back even though his heart was screaming, begging him to turn around and take one final look, but his body denied the internal cries. He hurried to the car, tossed his bag into the bed of the truck, and jumped into the passenger seat.

“You all set?” his father asked.

Stephen nodded as he buckled his seat belt. He didn’t want to talk, afraid the tone of his voice would betray his emotions, and his father would find him weak. Stephen hated that he felt this way. He couldn’t understand it, and although his father most likely would have understood how he felt without judging him, Stephen couldn’t help but think of himself as weak.

The drive to the airport was just as quiet as breakfast; not a single word was spoken the entire time. When they finally arrived, Stephen unbuckled his seatbelt and hurried out of the car.

“Have a safe flight son,” was all his father could get out before Stephen had exited the vehicle and grabbed his bag from the back.

Even with all his frustration and the other emotions running through him, Stephen still somehow managed to say, “Thank you.” Then he hurried past the open passenger window and into the airport terminal.

The flight home was silent. Stephen unintentionally ignored the flight attendants and other passengers. Trapped within his own mind, he prayed for his friend. Within a few hours, he had touched down in Texas and picked up his truck from long-term parking.

Once he made it back home, he defied his mother’s orders by not calling her to let her know he’d arrived safely like she’d asked of him before each flight. Stephen feared the news she might have shared with him if he did call, and by ignoring her instructions, he delayed the inevitable just a little longer.

He showered up and then prepared a Hungry Man meal since he lacked the motivation to do anything else. Approximately halfway through dinner, however, the phone rang. Stephen instantly put down his fork and stared at the phone as it rang and rang—the sound deafening—waiting for him to pick it up. Hoping to prolong his peace just a little longer, he refused to pick up. The moment the ringing had ceased, Stephen exhaled the breath he’d been unconsciously holding in.