The Anti-Fan and the Idol (My Summer in Seoul)

She twirls, and then her mouth is on mine.

And I have zero control left as I lift her into my arms.

We’re spinning and then falling against the floor again. “You’re mine.”

She looks up at me. “And if it all goes bad?”

“Then we burn together,” I say.

She nods. “I like that ending.”

“Sometimes, the best endings are the sad ones,” I whisper, nipping her lower lip and sucking it until I can’t take it anymore and need more of her mouth. She responds instantly, arching into me as I pull my shirt over my head.

I reach for hers, but she almost has it off.

Somehow, I’m already kicking my sweats down.

I’m so hard it hurts.

She moans my name.

I whisper hers.

Her shoes are gone, her shirt. My fingertips dip into her underwear, and I freeze, wondering if she’s going to stop me, but her hipbones brush against my knuckles. How can something so simple feel so good?

“Fuck.” I grip the side of her black panties and tug them down as she helps me, moving her legs, her hips. Shit, I won’t survive this.

Her lips part, and she takes more of my mouth, my tongue. I plunder, I consume, and I have zero regrets as we deepen our kisses and go past the point of no return.

I kick off the rest of my clothes, pushing her onto the bed, and then it’s just us, feverish skin pressed together, touching, feeling. She reaches for my dick, and I push her away. I won’t last if her fingers grip me. I want it more than anything, but I know my limits, and she’s pushing them hard.

“One minute,” I whisper against her mouth and reach for a condom in my nightstand, thankful I don’t have to crawl over to grab it. It’s been a while. Okay, it’s been a super long time. My fingers shake as I tear into the wrapper, then slide the condom onto myself. “This okay?”

She nods her head, her pretty, dark hair sliding against her face as she licks her pink lips like she can still taste me and is coming back for seconds. “I just want you.”

“Thought you hated me,” I tease, trying to buy time before this is all over.

“Hate. Love. Same thing.” She arches her back. “I need—”

“Me,” I whisper against her mouth. “Remember, we’re just rehearsing.”

She laughs. “Sure, rehearsing. Right.”

“Makes it less terrifying that we’re possibly ruining our lives and maybe the group.”

“No matter what,” she says, “the group stays together.”

I respect her even more for saying that. “No matter what.”

My tip’s close to her entrance. I almost want to pull away because I’m afraid of what will happen if I truly have sex with her, but she makes the choice for me by wrapping her ankles around my hips.

The tightest heat I’ve ever experienced in my life embraces me, and I never want to leave.

I’m hers.

She’s mine.

I pump my hips. I can’t stop moving.

“Ryan,” she whispers my name. “Yeah, just like that.”

Like I could stop. “Just tell me what feels good.”

“All of it. All of you.”

Fuck, I love my best friend for giving me this moment—giving us this moment—and turning his head because he knows how much rides on this.

I can’t stop my body from moving as I thrust faster, harder. She’s screaming now, and we’re both fucked because Haneul sure as hell knows what’s going on in here, but I don’t even care anymore. I don’t. I can’t, not when I feel her clench around me, her thighs tightening, her body pulsing. Nope, I can’t.

She’s mine now.

Nobody else’s.

“Ah-Ri…” I barely get out her name. “Why do you feel so damn good?”

She flips me to my back in an impressive jiu-jitsu move that has me grinning against her, despite the fact that I’m falling apart—completely apart. “Because I’m yours.”

“Mine.” I scrape my hands down her back. “Promise me.”

“Promise.” Her lips part, and I groan, pushing into her one last time.

She collapses against me with a scream, my name on a moan and her lips parted, her breaths coming in fast pants.

I don’t even try to cover the noise.

I finish after her.

And I know in my soul that this isn’t the end. It’s just the beginning of us. Of this group. Of everything.

And for the first time since my sister’s death, I think about my future.

I smile.

I’ve found my smile again.

Chapter Fourteen

Ah-Ri

I can’t believe I just slept with my old archnemesis—I also can’t believe how much I want to do it again.

I should have left right after. Instead, I stayed with him, in his room, in his arms, and I can’t find it in me to be sorry when I get up around five and try to leave the bed.

Ryan pulls me back. “No.”

He’s so warm. I want to stay. “We have practice and a freaking Showcase soon.” I yawn. “I have to at least get some sleep.”