Love or Lust (LOL): Part 2

Day 21

After an amazing day with Jace,I was exhausted. He wanted me to stay with him again. To snuggle. And I wanted to, but I also knew I wouldn’t get much sleep if I was that close to him. I’d be up all night staring at his beautiful face, tracing every muscle with my fingertips or thinking about jumping him.

It was that last thought that sealed my decision.

Because I want him. All of him. His heart, his body. Yesterday was a teaser for what could be next. When I’m ready to take that step with him. Before I do, I want to be certain I’m not still wavering between him and Lennon. I need to decide because, once we go down that road, there’s no turning back. At least not in my mind.

I already feel like I’m cheating on both of them to a degree. This may be a game, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel awful at times. Sleeping with one of them and continuing to play the game after... that would clearly be cheating.

And whenever I think about cheating, I’m reminded of Wren.

And I want to curl up in a ball when visions of what I walked in on are once again brought to the surface.

Those same images hurt less these days. My heart doesn’t feel like it’s going to shatter in my chest all over again. It’s a stinging pain, like when you’re getting your blood drawn and the needle punctures your skin. It hurts for a brief second, but then it’s over and life goes on around you.

Checking the time on my phone, I notice I have a text from Naomi. It’s been a few days since I talked to her last. We’ve been playing phone tag a lot lately, which makes me wonder what has her so busy right now. She’s supposed to be on spring break, yet my calls are still going to voicemail more often than not.

Instead of going out at night, Lennon opted for an afternoon date. Since I still have an hour before we are scheduled to leave the ranch, I dial her number.

“Best friend!” Naomi screams into the phone after only one ring. “I’ve missed you.”

“Miss you too. Where have you been? You never answer your phone anymore.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she states firmly, her voice trailing off, a clear sign she’s hiding something from me. Neither of us is very good at lying, especially to one another.

“Right. I mean, you’ve been off work for over a week, right? And instead of being around at two in the afternoon, you’ve been where exactly? Doing what? Without your phone.”

The line goes silent for a second, and then I hear her whispering in the background.

“Is someone there with you?”

Her voice shakes, her words coming out rushed. “What? No. Why would you think that?”

“Spill,” I demand.

Naomi, in true fashion, makes me wait in silence for at least thirty seconds before she begins rambling. She tells me all about the new guy she met. The fun things they’ve been doing. The fact he slept over last night for the first time.

“Is this your way of telling me I need to move out?” I joke when she’s finally finished.

“Of course not. You know you’re welcome to stay as long as you want. Just expect company more often when you get home. And if all goes well, I have a feeling you’ll have a friend over too. Speaking of... how are things with you and the boys?”

“Ugh! Complicated.”

“Simplify things then. Pick one. Don’t overthink it, just choose. Whoever comes to mind first.”

“What if I pick wrong?”

“You won’t. It’s been almost three weeks, Presley. You know them as well as you’re going to. You see both of them every day. Which one lights your fire? Revs your engine? Kisses better? That’s the one you want. And if it doesn’t work out in the end, at least you had some fun. But if it does... imagine how great the sex is going to be. Weeks of buildup. Tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. God, it’s going to be explosive. Probably quick, but still.”

Shaking my head at her even though I know she can’t see me, I let out a giggle just as there’s a knock at my door.

“I gotta let you go. Lennon’s here for our date.”

“Is he the one?” she asks.

“I don’t know yet. Maybe.”

I want to add, maybe not, but I don’t.