First Real Kiss

“Stop.” Jane held up a palm. “You mean to tell me you’re out walking around the world without health insurance?”

I hugged my legs tighter. “Even if I were to be given a sliver of hope, that ends up being a pre-existing condition, and that’s the tip of the financial iceberg.” Fertility treatments were not cheap. In fact, they were not possible. The end. Full stop.

Finally, Jane’s kindness reappeared. She set down her juice box and gathered me into her arms. “You’ve been carrying this burden all these years. Alone.”

I sank into her hug and closed my eyes. A little moisture formed at the edges of my lashes. “It’s been all right.”

“You’re not just the most ridiculous person I know, you’re the strongest.”

But I wasn’t. I was the avoiding-est. “Thanks.”

“I promise you this, though. There’s a way through. Don’t give up hope.”

“Hope.” The word had wings, and I had caught a flight on it many times in the past. Could I fly with this, the biggest, heaviest thing in my life? Jane thought there was a way through, but she was over halfway through her fourth pregnancy.

It wasn’t as simple as hope. Not this time.