The Matchmaker's Choice: A Lesbian Romance

In the car, I realize that Steph was right. I should have

been happy for her. I shouldn’t have let my own crap turn into

a massive hurdle. I shouldn’t have been selfish. I shouldn’t

have let some really crappy emotions and my past experiences

become a nightmare for me to face in the present. I have no

idea if I’ve ruined everything.

The problem is, I might know that Steph is right, but I

still don’t know how to feel. I don’t know how to make myself

calm down. I don’t know how to not have all these doubts. I

don’t know how to trust.

These are all my problems. Nothing she did at all, but

now I’ve probably wrecked everything and God knows that no

one would want to date anyone who spazzes and panics and

brings a bunch of baggage to the table. Maybe I’m just not

ready for this. I want to be, but that panic and that emptiness

and the already aforementioned baggage are still there.

I don’t know if we can fix this. I don’t know if we can

move forward when I can’t seem to unglue myself from the

place in the past where I’m hopelessly stuck.

Chapter 25

Stephanie

After days of distracted thoughts and nights of silence, it’s

actually a relief to go over to my parents’ house for dinner. As

usual, it’s immaculately clean. As usual, the dinner is

excellent. My mom doesn’t seem nervous at all, even though I

know she has to be. She must have said something to my dad

about me coming over, because after dessert, he pushes back

his chair and stares at me expectantly.

“Mother said you have something you’d like to talk to

me about?”