The Trouble With Falling

“Nothing. It’s just pretend. You know that.”

“Yeah, maybe I would have believed that before, but I saw you two going at it in the car. I saw the way that you were looking at her all throughout dinner. You like her,” he says gently and I look anywhere but at him.

“We agreed it would just be pretend. Neither one of us is looking for a relationship,” I say quietly.

The words taste like poison now. How could I be so stupid? How could I agree to all of this?

“Maybe that’s how you started, but I don’t think that either of you wants that anymore. She was looking at you too. Sneaking glances when she thought that no one was looking and all that. She kissed you in the truck too,” Patrick reminds me but I shake that off.

“She was just doing that because my mom was watching us,” I tell him.

“Sure. I’m telling you, man. She’s into you. You should tell her that you don’t want to pretend anymore.”

“And what happens when she says no?” I ask, humoring him and his theory.

“She won’t,” Patrick says with such conviction that I almost believe him.

“She will. What woman wants to date the town freak? The giant?”

“Uh, Hartley,” he stresses, looking at me like I’m insane. “Besides, Eli, you’re not the town freak,” Patrick says gently, worry etched into every line of his face.

“You should get going. It’s freezing out here,” I tell him, taking a step toward the house.

“You’re a good guy, Eli. Hartley sees that. You just need to too,” Patrick says before he climbs behind the wheel, waves once, and backs out of the drive.

I watch him go until his taillights disappear before I head back inside.

There’s no relief inside the house either. My mom is talking about wedding rings and funny proposals that she’s seen on Pinterest. My head is pounding by the time we all head to bed and I try to clear my thoughts and go to sleep.

I can’t get what Patrick said out of my head though. His words stay with me all night.