Relapse

What damage could she do if she had time to prepare before going in front of a judge, with a lawyer at her side?

My chest suddenly feels tight and I sway slightly, holding on to Lilly tightly.

“Whoa, Ivy.” Chase’s hands come out to stabilize me but even though my feet are securely under me, I’ve never felt more off balance.

“Oh god,” I mutter. “She’s going to take them.”

Nathan shakes his head, placing a hand on my shoulder. “No, Ivy, she can’t take the kids because of our relationship, she doesn’t have legal means to. It’s the same as if you were dating one man,” he says, “there’s nothing perverted or harmful about it, nothing to put the kids in danger. She wouldn’t even make it to the courtroom with such claims.”

But she did the first time, even with my sister’s will being written and authorized by her. Because when you have money, you can always make something happen, no matter how wrong or right it is.

And I can’t let that happen with me and the kids.

“I need to think,” I say, keeping my eyes on the ground.

Chase’s hands on my arms tighten slightly, but not enough to hurt me.

“Ivy, what are you saying?” Nathan asks.

I look up but it’s not Nathan or Chase’s gaze I meet, it’s Emmet’s and the hurt that I see in his eyes. The man who’s already had so many people turn their back on him is looking at me like I’m next and it’s painful because it may be the truth.

I turn away, my eyes burning. “I need some time to think,” I say.

“About what?” Chase asks lowly but he already knows, we all do.

“About this,” I say, still not able to look any of them in the eye. Things had been going so well… “About us and whether or not this is worth it.” I take a harsh breath.

“Ivy.” My name from Emmet’s lips almost breaks me, but I refuse to look at him. It’s already hard enough to do this without looking at the hurt in those topaz eyes.

“I can’t lose the kids.” I shake my head, holding onto Lilly. “I just need time to think.”

“Okay.” It comes from Nathan, low and calm. “We’ll give you time.”

I’m grateful for his understanding but I still keep my gaze low and after a few moments they shuffle out of the room and I hear the front door close.

A tear runs down my cheek as I go to lock the door.

I cradle Lilly closely as I make my way to my room and close the door. I lay down in the bed with her, and my mind swirls with thoughts.

Things had been going great. I’d finally put together the intense emotions behind our sex and the warmth I feel in my chest when I look at any of the men. I’d just been on the cusp of accepting the one emotion I didn’t want to give them in order to protect myself.

And once again Mother swoops in to ruin my life.

I look at Lilly, her wide brown eyes on me. Her small hand touches my face. Her lips move and I expect babble, but it’s not what I get, “Mama.”

The one word pushes me past my breaking point.