Relapse

“Nah, but I have pulled him over for a speeding ticket for the hell of it before.”

“Asshole,” Emmet mutters and I laugh.

“Aunt Ivy, Aunt Ivy, look,” Tanner shouts. “I get to touch the stingrays!” His little face is flushed from excitement as he stands on a stool and leans over a pool of water swimming with medium sized fish and stingrays.

I move over to Nathan who’s standing beside him with Lilly who’s trying to jump in the water. “Is that safe?” I ask, looking at the stingrays swimming around in a shallow pool of water.

“Yep, they said that it’s completely safe,” he reassures me as he keeps an eye on Tanner while entertaining Lilly. It’s a skill I’m barely able to manage myself so I can’t help but to look at him in admiration.

“What?” he asks with a smile, his eyes crinkling at the corner as he looks down at me.

“Nothing.” I shake my head before deciding to be honest as Chase moves over to supervise Tanner. “You’re just really good with them.”

“Thank you.” He ruffles Lilly’s hair. “They’re really good kids and it’s hard not to love them,” he confesses.

“Yeah,” I agree. “But still, you guys have been…” I struggle to find a word to find the emotions I feel when I see any of the guys interacting or taking care of the kids.

Warmth.

Comfort.

Adoration.

“It’s nothing,” Nathan says after moments of silence from me. When I look up at him, he smiles and leans down to give me a peck on the cheek. Lilly reaches out and squeezes my face with a laugh.

“Someone’s being busy,” Nathan says as he tickles her and I feel my heart beat quicker in my chest as Lilly laughs.

I look past him to where Tanner is giggling as he feeds the stingrays with fish that it looks like Chase bought from the feeding shop. The two of them laugh as one of the stingrays comes up and gently glides over Tanner’s hand, splashing the two of them with water. Emmet wipes the water from Tanner’s face.

“What about me?” Chase asks and Emmet rolls his eyes before wiping the water from his face too.

It’s not nothing, it’s everything and I’m afraid to see what happens if anything goes wrong, both for me and the kids.