Ellie watched as a multitude of emotions crossed his face. Then he grabbed her with both hands and yanked her into his arms. He crushed her to him, holding her tightly.
“God, Ellie, of course I still want you. I’ve always wanted you. Where have you been, sweetheart? Promise me you’ll never leave like that again.”
She pulled away and smiled up at him. “I know I’ve been an idiot, Jake, and I’m sorry. But I had to get away and clear my head. I was so mired in humiliation and shame that I couldn’t see what was important. And what was important, the only thing that mattered in the end, was that you loved me.”
“I do love you,” he growled. “So damn much.”
She sucked in her breath and knew she had to say everything, get it out so she could put it behind her. “For so long, I lived with such shame. I blamed myself for the things Ray did. Even though I knew he was a bastard and nothing I could have done would have changed that, I still couldn’t look logically at it. All I knew was I felt dirty, and I never wanted anyone to know my secrets. It was bad enough you’d seen me at my worst moment, but I couldn’t bear for the rest of the world to know.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Jake said in a voice that sounded like his heart was breaking.
“I never wanted anyone to know what really happened,” she admitted. “If Ray hadn’t gone public, I would have gone to my grave with those secrets. It’s probably wrong of me, but I couldn’t wipe away the shame I felt. I couldn’t bear the thought of having to face people who knew the truth. Didn’t want to see the pity or the scorn. So I ran, thinking if I could go away someplace where nobody knew me, I wouldn’t be so humiliated, I wouldn’t feel so hurt. I was wrong. It was all still there, only now I was faced with losing the one person in my life who loved me even knowing of all those terrible things.”
“What changed your mind?” he prompted.
She chanced a look back into his eyes. “You did,” she said softly. “I don’t want to live without you, Jake. And I can stand anything as long as you’re mine. I’ve been a terrible coward, but not any longer. I won’t let my pride ruin the best chance I’ll ever have at love.”
He cupped her face in his hand and tenderly pressed his lips to hers. Warmth spread through her frozen heart. She began to rapidly thaw from the days of isolation and pain. She moaned a desperate, needy sound as she twined her arms around his neck and returned his kiss for all she was worth.
His other hand dug into her hair, and his body moved urgently against hers. “I’ve missed you so much,” he said hoarsely. “If you ever try to leave me again, Ellie, I won’t be so understanding. I’ll drag your ass back home where you belong and I’ll tie you to my bed for a week.”
She smiled as their foreheads touched. “In that case, I might stage a runaway.”
He smacked her on the ass, but his face had dissolved into an expression of relief. Suddenly his eyes gleamed, and he smiled broadly.
“Wait here. I have something for you.”
She watched as he hurried over to the tree and bent to retrieve the single present lying underneath. He returned to where she was standing and held out the gift.
“I bought this for you before you left. I wasn’t sure I’d have a chance to give it to you, but I kept it in case.”
The paper crinkled under her fingers as she lifted the edge and tore. Inside the square box was a jeweler’s box. Her hand shook as she pulled it out. She glanced up at Jake then back down at the small box.
“Go on,” he said huskily.
She pried the lid open to see a diamond solitaire glitter back at her. “Oh…”
Her gaze shot back up to Jake’s face.
“Will you marry me, Ellie?” he asked in a gruff voice. “God knows I’ve waited long enough for you. Will you put me out of my misery and promise to take care of me until I’m old and gray and incontinent?”
She laughed and threw her arms around his neck, the box still gripped in one hand. “That was the worst proposal I’ve ever heard!”
He pulled her from his neck and looked at her with such serious eyes that her heart leapt and stuttered.
“I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. I don’t want to ever lose you again, Ellie. Not even for a day. I want you to marry me so we can grow old together and have our children drive us insane. I can’t imagine my life any other way.”
Tears shimmered in her vision. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Jake. I can’t imagine being crazy with anyone else.”
The Christmas tree twinkled in their periphery.
“I’ll even let you keep your damn colored lights,” she said.
He threw back his head and laughed. “Do I get the flashing kind to go outside?”
“Don’t push your luck,” she grumbled. “We’ll let the kids vote on whether or not we turn our house into a neon sign.”
“Now that is an idea I can deal with,” Jake said. “What do you say we start on the tiebreaking vote right now?”