Down on Luck

“Hey, hey!” Darcy said, as soon as she answered the phone.

“Hey,” I said, with considerably less excitement.

“What’s up, buttercup? You sound a bit down.”

“You could say that,” I said, wiping a tear from my eye.

“What happened. Did you and Gavin try anal?”

“No.”

“But you fucked.”

“Yeah.”

“And he ran?”

“No, he was really sweet. Too sweet, really. Said I could take my time. I could eat anything from his massive kitchen. He even gave me a key.”

“Okay, not seeing the downside,” Darcy said.

“There’s more to it than that,” I said.

“There usually is,” Darcy said.

“His brother came by.”

“He has a brother?”

“Yeah.”

“Is he cute?” Darcy asked.

“Yeah, and looks to be about 18,” I said.

“Still legal,” Darcy pointed out.

“He’s also one of Gavin’s five brothers.”

“Oh, their poor mother!”

“I know, right? Anyway, he was there looking for Gavin.”

“Makes sense,” Darcy said.

“You haven’t heard the bad part yet,” I said.

“Oh, sorry, continue.”

“He’d come all the way from Ireland to see Gavin. Turns out their dad is sick, like death’s door sick, maybe, with an infection after years of drinking and drugging, and Gavin is down as the next of kin. They won’t listen to the younger brother and Gavin is screening his calls. Apparently, he had a really rough childhood in a really, really bad part of Dublin and came to California to get away from it all.”

“Wow,” Darcy said.

“I know, right?”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure. I think I love him. Or I’m at least infatuated -”

“Oh, love schmove. It’s so early! How was the sex?” Darcy asked, ever practical.

“Earth-shakingly amazing, but that’s not the point. I mean, it’s a factor, but I don’t really know who he is. I thought I was getting to that point, but if he could hide a major thing like that from me, then what else is he hiding? Does he do drugs too? Was he violent? I mean, other than in self defense. He has some pretty big scars. It looks like he’s been shanked at least twice.”

“Hardcore!” Darcy said, sounding thoroughly impressed.

“Yeah, I suppose, but I’m not sure that’s really what I’m looking for.”

“Guess not. Not after he-who-shall-not-be-named.”

“Not quite the same. Kenny acted tough but would run away if you shouted boo,” I pointed out.

“True,” she agreed.

“I would be fine with us just having very different pasts, and even fine with him not opening up about it until I found out from his brother, given that we really only just met, and are just in this fake relationship…”

“A fake relationship with very real hot sex,” Darcy interrupts.

“Right. But the thing is that we kind of had a moment between us, in which he was kinda getting on me for having to go to therapy and I was asking him if there isn’t anything he might need to go for therapy for, and he said there wasn’t.”

“Well, what guy is going to admit that?” she said. “Plus, he probably knows he needs it but doesn’t want to even admit it to himself, let alone you.”

“True,” I conceded, but something was still nagging me about it. “It’s just that I really didn’t appreciate being made to feel as if I was the only one in the room with problems, when clearly he has so many of his own.”

“That makes sense. He sounds like a complicated guy and your period of required fake engagement is over, right?” she asked.

“Good question,” I admitted. “I have no idea.”

We hadn’t really talked that part through. I think both of us were assuming we might get a wedding invite and we’d best keep pretending until then. But I also think both of us were secretly hoping that if we never defined a time period, it would just continue to last.

“Well, I think it’s a good time to cut loose if you’re not that into it or you think he’s dishonest or complicated. No hard feelings, at this point. You might be best just trying to forget him. Maybe don’t ghost him, let him down easy, but don’t take things any further. I’ll even help; we can go out for margaritas to plan a strategy. A good happy hour always cures the blues. At least temporarily.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“See you then, cupcake!”

If Darcy didn’t think that Gavin and I were meant to be – the thought of my fake fiancé and I being “meant to be” sounding silly to even think about – then I guess we really weren’t. I hung up feeling a bit dumb for believing Gavin when he seemed too good to be true. Not that it wasn’t all true, but there was enough that he had been hiding to make me doubtful.

He might have been embarrassed by his dad’s addiction but at least he had a dad to be embarrassed by. I didn’t, anymore. I really wished I could just forget him.

I had just started finishing off the cleaning I had been in the midst of yesterday, when there came a knock on the door. I thought it was odd because of the controlled entrance, but figured Darcy had gone out and forgotten her key. It wouldn’t be the first time. I rolled my eyes and went to the door, to find that someone I really didn’t want to see was on the other side of it.