Bundle of Joy

Chapter 1

Daniel

Imagine the thrill of careening down a long, scenic mountain on skis, the wind at your back and a gorgeous landscape in front of you.

Now imagine how much that experience would be ruined by trying not to fucking collide with a dozen five- and six- year olds who seem determined to ski directly into your path.

I suppose it would be fun if it was some kind of new video game challenge, but in real life, I can assure you, it’s no fucking fun at all.

Although I only became a father by accident, on most days, I quite enjoy it. Today, however, is not one of those days. It’s my son’s sixth birthday and we’re having a party for him at the local ski resort.

I thought it would be a fun way to celebrate, but I forgot that even though he’s known how to ski since he was two years old, some of his friends have not. In fact, for some of them, it’s their first time skiing, and that’s why they seem hellbent on making me crash – because they themselves have no control on their skis.

I’ve slowed way down to their level, even though it makes my son Charlie a bit grumpy.

“Dad!” he complains. “We’re never going to be able to go on one of the black diamond trails at this rate.”

“Son,” I say, reaching over to ruffle his thick mane of brown hair like I always do, before remembering that he’s wearing not only a winter ski hat but also a helmet on top of that, both of which make the task impossible, “I can assure you that we aren’t going on a black diamond run today at any rate.”

“But I want to!” he wails, kicking one of his skis into a snowbank and causing snow to fly up everywhere.

Recently, he’s been a little more difficult to handle than he usually is, but I blame that on the fact that I’ve been having to work a lot harder than usual at the tech business I’d founded. It recently merged with another large company, and the shareholders’ expectations for profit are higher than I’m used to.

In the meantime, my son hasn’t had his dad’s attention as much as he’s been used to. Meanwhile, multiple nannies have quit, citing irreconcilable differences, to put it nicely, or “he always has 24/7 meltdowns,” to put it bluntly.

It really isn’t his fault; I know he’s just acting out due to lack of attention from his dad, not to mention his mom, who is another story altogether. I was hoping this ski trip birthday party would provide for some good father/ son bonding time, but so far it’s been mainly whining from him, about things such as this.

“Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you invited Jimmy and Timmy and whatever the other one’s name is,” I whisper to him under my breath. “The friends of yours who have never been skiing?”

I hear a light chuckle behind me and barely turn my head as the ski instructor the resort had assigned us for this party whizzes by. She stops expertly and gives me a look that’s a mixture of impressed grin and chiding scoff.

“That’s not very nice,” she says, clearly having overheard what I’d just said.

She must have ears like a fox, which would be fitting, since the old term to describe her would be “foxy.” Now, I’d just say she’s fucking sexy. Her muscular, athletic curves are on full display even though she’s wearing puffy winter ski clothing – there is no hiding that amazing body of hers.

I think she’d introduced herself to us as Catharine, but the gang of kids that had passed had been so loud, as they bickered over who was going to ride with whom on the ski lifts, that I might have heard wrong.

“Sorry, I can’t be a perfect dad all the time,” I tell her, with a wink.

I’m happy that she responds by smiling back at me.

“Do you want to do the birthday cake now, Mr. Non-Perfect Dad?” she asks me.

“The name’s Daniel,” I correct her, but it doesn’t bother me that she made that joke.

In fact, I find it funny. I just want her to remember my name.

“I know; we were introduced earlier,” she says.

So, apparently, she already remembered my name. I guess I was off to a good start then, without even knowing it.

“I was coming to tell you that the resort staff said the cake is ready,” she continues. “It’s actually one of my friends who made it, exactly according to your rather… um, extravagant… specifications, and I really think that Charlie will love it, so maybe we should go in now. Plus, it looks like some of the other party-goers are more ready for a nap than that double diamond slope you just mentioned.”