Hating You (Blackthorn Elite 1)

Taking out a washcloth from the linen cabinet, I turn the faucet on and wait till the water is lukewarm. Normally, I wouldn’t give two fucks about a chick after sex, but the thought of leaving Willow on the bed after coming inside of her, that doesn’t sit well with me. It causes an ache to form in my chest. She’s not a whore or a sex toy. She’s mine, and I need to cherish her, care for her. With the wet washcloth in hand, I walk back into the bedroom.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, I’m pulled in her direction. I find she is still completely naked, curled up on her side now. When I get closer, I notice that her eyes are closed.

Did she go to sleep?

My suspicion is confirmed when I crawl up onto the bed, and she doesn’t move or react in any way. My gaze moves to her face. Her mouth is slightly open, and her breathing has evened out. She looks completely peaceful, and I know damn well that she wouldn’t look like this if she were awake right now.

No, she’d be tearing the place apart looking for her clothes while doing everything she could to get away from me. Seeing her like this, I decide I like this side of her more at the moment.

Gripping her by the hip, I roll her onto her back, watching her face to see if she stirs. As gently as I can, I reach between her legs and clean the residue of sex away. She doesn’t even stir as I wipe her probably tender pussy with the cloth. When I’m done, I look down and find the once white cloth covered in bright red blood.

Staring at the blood-soaked fabric, the contents of my stomach churns. I knew she was lying. I knew she was a virgin, but it still bothers me. I told myself to pace myself, to go easy on her tonight, but I lost all control as soon as I sunk into her. Reckless. That’s how she makes me feel. With her, I lose all sense of control.

Disappointment punches me in the fucking gut. I should have been more careful, gentler, even if she didn’t deserve that, especially after yet again, lying to me.

Why the hell would she tell me she wasn’t a virgin anyway? Did she want me to hurt her? All of these questions are fucking with my head. She’s fucking with my head. I can’t handle this right now.

My hands shake as I throw the messed up cloth onto the hardwood floor in the corner of the room. The cleaning lady can get that tomorrow. Pulling the blanket from the bottom of the bed, I tug it over both of us and settle onto the mattress beside her.

Tucking her into my side, I relish in the sensation of having her in my bed. She fits perfectly into my body, like two missing pieces made to fit together.

At least our bodies are, the rest… fuck, no.

I don’t know what I expected, but waking up to her being gone, surprisingly, wasn’t on the list. Still completely naked, I walk through the house looking for any sign of her, even though I know right away that she is gone. I knew the second I opened my eyes that her presence was missing. How fucked up is that?

The place felt emptier, colder without her, and that revelation pissed me off even more than the fact that she just left. She snuck out without a word or a note. Like what the fuck? The rational part of my brain knows that I should have seen it coming. I shouldn’t be mad about it. I mean, what did I expect? How else did I see this morning playing out?

We were hardly going to wake up and enjoy a lovely breakfast together after I took her virginity last night. Something she only gave to me because I blackmailed her into it. Running a hand through my hair, I sigh into the empty house, feeling more alone than I ever have before.

This is so fucked up, so fucking disturbing. It’s wrong, I know it, and I know Willow knows it, but I can’t stop. I have to make her mine. I have to ensure she sees and feels it.

Walking into the kitchen, I start a pot of coffee, and then jump into the shower, washing away the evidence of last night from my skin. Once rinsed, I hop out and dry off before slipping into my usual jeans and T-shirt.

Pocketing my phone, wallet, and keys, I realize just how late for classes I am. Fuck it. I’m only going to be even later because I have to stop by the pharmacy before I go to class. The thought reminds me that I was stupid enough to not use a condom last night.