Keep Me (Broken Heroes 3)

“Where is she?” I ask Damon, who looks like he is deep in thought.

“Around the house, I gave her a gun, so you better announce yourself,” Damon warns and points me in the direction to go.

I start walking toward my mouse, wondering if she even wants to see me right now. I fucking hurt her, almost killed her, threw her in the cell and basically handed her to my father when she did nothing wrong.

Guilt settles so deep inside of me I know I will never fully be able to let go of this. She could’ve died tonight, and that’s my fucking fault. She proved herself to me, earned my trust, and I didn’t even let her speak. I didn’t let her tell me what happened. I didn’t let her defend herself, and I know I will carry this guilt with me until I take my last breath, no matter how long my life might be and regardless of whether she forgives me or not. I walk around the side of the house, stopping only when I see a small body leaning against the siding.

“It’s me, don’t shoot.” I hold my hands up and take a step closer to her. “Unless you want to shoot me. In that case go ahead, I won’t hold it against you. I definitely deserve it.”

Mouse comes toward me and for a split second, I think she might actually shoot me, I wouldn’t try and stop her if she did, but then she drops the gun to the ground and runs straight for me. Her small body slams into mine, and her slim arms snake around my middle.

I shouldn’t be happy. I know this, but I am. I’m happy to have her back, to be rid of my father. I know I can love and be loved in return. I hold her close to my body, kissing the top of her head. “I’m so fucking sorry, Mouse. So fucking sorry. I fucked up. I hurt you. I ruined everything.”

“I didn’t think you would come for me. I thought I would never see you again. I thought you hated me and that I’d become your father’s whore.” She starts sobbing into my chest, and every single word is like another stab to my heart. I failed her in every possible way, and there is no forgetting that.

I pull back slightly and grip her by the chin. I need her to hear and see me when I say these words to her. “I swear to you, Ella. If you forgive me, I will be a better man. I will care for you, and I will protect and cherish you.” I stare deeply into her eyes, hoping she can see how much I mean every single word I am saying.

“I should have fucking trusted you. I should have believed in you. I told you that I loved you and when it came time to prove myself, I failed you. I failed us, but it will never happen again. Never.”

Mouse shakes her head as if she doesn’t believe me. “I still love you, Xander. I know I probably shouldn’t, but I do. I can’t help it. I love you, I love Q, and I’ll love…” She trails off, her face falling.

“I love you, too, Mouse, and I’m going to love this baby, our baby.” I release my hold on her chin and move my hand between us and over her still-flat belly, which will soon be swollen with our child. I can’t wait to see her full with our baby. I’ll bet she looks just as sexy pregnant as she does now.

“You found the test?” Surprise colors her features, and for a moment, I wonder if she was trying to hide it from me. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was. I didn’t exactly treat Q’s mother with respect or kindness when I found out she was having him, but this was different. I wanted Mouse; I didn’t want the woman my father had sent to me.

“Yes, I came down to the cell as soon as I found it, and that’s when I realized you were gone.”

Mouse frowns. “I didn’t have time to look at the test because your men came in, but I knew I was. I felt it deep in my chest. I was going to tell you, of course, but I wanted to be sure first.”

“I know. I never really expected you to hide it from me, and even if you did, I wouldn’t blame you. My relationship with Q’s mom was nothing like the one I have with you. I’d never hurt you like that… never,” I assure her, because yes, I’ve treated her horribly, hurt her many times, and there aren’t any accuses for that behavior. But now that I know what it feels like to lose her, I will never do anything to risk her life again.