Guard Me (Broken Heroes 4)

“What’s going to happen to me?” She asks, and I hand her another small piece of the sandwich. She eats it slowly. I’m not sure I want to tell her what’s going to happen, not when I shouldn’t even be in here to begin with. If any of the men saw me in here I’d have to come up with some kind of excuse, I have no real reason to be in here. It’s unlike me, and I think the men are already starting to notice a change in my behavior.

“Just eat.” I hand her another small piece but she doesn’t reach for it. I want to offer her more than this dry piece of shit sandwich, but I can’t. Yet another item on the long list of fucking things that I can’t bring myself to do for her.

“I’m done.” She shakes her head slightly.

“You need to eat more than a quarter off a sandwich. You haven’t eaten for nearly a week.”

She sighs while continuing to shake her head, “I can’t…I’m not hungry.” Her body sinks more into mine like she is too weak to keep holding herself up. She stretches out her legs in front of her and the shirt rides up to above her knees revealing a little more of her skin. I almost throw the tray across the room when I see some dried blood on the inside of her thighs.

I twist to look at her and she slides down the wall where she was leaning on to me. I catch her before her head hits the mattress. My hands are on her thin upper arms pulling her up straight before I can stop myself from doing so. Her eyes fly open and she looks up at me, shock reflecting in her eyes.

“Who hurt you? Did someone come in here again?” My voice comes out much harsher that I intend it to but I’m fucking furious.

I ordered them not to touch her, told them I’d kill them myself if they did and yet here she fucking is clearly hurt. I grit my teeth wanting to leave the room right this second and find the fuckers who did this to her. All I fear is burning rage. She looks at me with her eye going impossibly wide, her body stiff in fear underneath my touch. Fuck, and now I’m hurting her too. I loosen my grip on her and watch her shake her head slowly.

“No one came in here again, no one but you.”

“Then why is there blood between your legs?” I watch her look down at her thighs and she squeezes them together as if out of reflex, as if she’s trying to hide the evidence of whatever the hell happened.

“It’s… It’s nothing.” She tries to pull away from me but I don’t let her. I watch her face closely but she won’t meet my eyes. She tries to pull the shirt down to cover her legs more and I see her cheeks turn a faint pink. Is she blushing? Now that I’ve take another look at her I realize she looks more embarrassed than scared.

“I’m… well, I’m on my period,” she says without looking at me.

I release her at once, feeling like an even bigger asshole than before. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to make all of this go away. When I open my eyes again I find her staring back at me with tears in her eyes. I look up and down her body, her hair is a matted in spots, and greasy. Her legs are filthy and she has been wearing the shirt I gave her for over a week now.

Christ. I pry my eyes away from her and look around the empty room that holds nothing but a dirty mattress. I can’t take it anymore. Something inside me snaps…it cracks, and the contents seep right out of me. I have to get her out of here and cleaned up, even if it’s just for a few hours.

I stand up and she immediately starts pleading with me. “Please don’t go, I can get cleaned up in the sink. I’ll try to eat some more. Just please don’t leave me alone, please Ivan. Please.” Her words just add to the growing pain in my chest. The way my name falls from her lips making it a million times worse. She reminds me of all the good I could do for her, she reminds me that beneath everything I am human and I am capable of caring, and that scares the fuck out of me, because caring for her will only mean one thing… and that would get us both killed.

Already having made my choice I look down at her, “Get up.”

She looks up at me confusion maring her delicate features, and she gets up anyway. Her small arms pushing herself up to stand on shaky legs.