Guard Me (Broken Heroes 4)

“I’m sorry,” he tells me and gets on the bed with me, positioning himself on top of me. He is holding himself up on his elbows and keen, his large body looming a over my small one.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you the other night. I lost control. Sometimes I do that. But believe me…it was no intentional.” I know shouldn’t trust him. Shouldn’t just accept his apology. He’s a criminal, probably a murderer too, and he’s selling me and other women for money… still, I believe him.

He moves over me until his face hovers directly above my own. Then without even an inkling of hesitation his lips are on mine. He tastes like mint, and he kisses like hes trying to remind me of the kind man he is.

I’ve kissed a couple guys, each occasion was sloppy and one I didn’t want to revisit but none of them ever kissed me like this…like I was the air they needed to breathe. My breath hitches in my throat when his huge hand cups me by the cheek, his touch is tender, kind and I melt into it.

I feel his tongue slip across my bottom lip, begging for entry. I’ve never french kissed before. Thought excites me, and I part my lips, moaning when his tongue touches mine.

The kiss deepens and he strokes the inside of my mouth, leaving me feeling all warm and tingly inside. I lift my hands pulling him down on top of me. I can feel his huge erection pressing into my belly and panic shoots through me momentarily.

That panic quickly disappears when his warm body presses me into the soft mattress, making me feel safe and protected, as if he is guarding me from everything bad in the world with his body. I start to melt underneath his touch and I revel in the feeling of his heavy body against mine.

My body seems to move on its own, as if it knows what to do, and I let it, because I’ve never felt the way I do right now. My fingers dive into his hair, tugging on the strands. While he cradles my head, kissing me with every ounce of who he is. I lift my hips, and spread my legs wider, wanting more, needing more. Ivan grunts above me as if he’s in pain before pulling away, but only slightly.

His fingers roam down my body, his eyes remain on mine, pleading, questioning as he slips beneath the hem of the shirt I’m wearing. His thick fingers ghost over my skin and I shiver. He touches me as if I’m going to break, like I’m a fragile piece of porcelain.

“I… I want you.” I whisper giving him permission but instead of touching me, instead of giving us both what we want, he pulls away.

“I want you too, you don’t even know how much, it’d probably scare you… but we can’t.” He looks away as if he is trying to hide his face from me, as if he’s ashamed. “Do you want to take a shower? You can go by yourself.”

“What if I want you to come?” I ask my teeth sinking into my bottom lip. I don’t know what I’m doing or even what I’m asking for. All I know is that after being away from him for two days I need to show him how valuable he is to me, how important his presence is, because then maybe, maybe he won’t leave me all alone again.

“I don’t think you know what you want kitten. If you knew everything about me, about the things I’ve done you wouldn’t be wanting me to touch you, let along take a shower with you.”

His response hurts, and feels a lot like rejection but I’ve been hurt worse in my time here, and though I might be inexperienced and a bit naive, after the way he kissed me I know he wants me. He can deny it all he wants, but his body proves otherwise.

“You’re the reason I’m here Ivan, and I still want you, so I think I know what I am asking for.”

Nervous laughter spills from his throat, “No you haven’t the first clue what you’re asking for, and I might be a bastard, but I’m not taking that from you, especially before the checking.”

My brow furrows, “The checking?”

“Come take a shower, and I’ll take one with you.” I oblige, springing from the bed. I walk into the bathroom and pull off all of my clothes, tossing them to the floor. I am not as timid as I was last time when I got naked in front of him. Ivan does the same, though his movements are slower and just like last time I enjoy watching him strip. My eyes rake over the dark ink painted onto his skin. He’s tone, and tan and my mouth waters with every new inch of flesh I see.