Inevitable (A Kingpin Love Affair 2)

His words were beautiful and heartfelt, and the tears burned down my cheeks as I pulled from his touch. I needed to get my bearings on everything, and no matter how much I wanted to believe his words right this second, I couldn’t. Getting up, I turned around and walked down the hall to the room I was brought to when I first arrived. The moment I closed the door, the tears, the pain, and the earth shattering realization’s hit me. This was my life now.

Zerro

“Fuck,” I said harshly, my fist hitting the table hard. I didn’t want to start breaking shit. I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore, but I couldn’t handle the emotions running through me.

“Is everything okay?” Jared asked concerned as ever. He was always fucking concerned. However, now his concerns were real. I was dating his half-sister, or was I? From her words mere moments ago, I was beginning to think we had nothing. Then again, if I were just thrown the shit storm she was, I would be doing a whole lot more than just needing time.

“Everything is just fan-fucking-tastic,” I scoffed, slamming back a gulp of the whiskey sitting in front of me. I needed a drink about as badly as I needed Bree’s sweet lips against mine.

“I take that as she didn’t take it nearly as well as I thought she would.” He was joking… or trying to. It was a shame Bree had been caught up in all of this. I had taken the sweet, shy, and innocent woman I loved and morphed her into a broken killer. She was broken and it was my fault—no, it was John’s fault.

“You mean you actually expected her to accept what you said right off the bat? We have bloodthirsty criminals breathing down our backs left and right, and then we have to throw shit on her. I can’t even imagine what she is thinking right now,” I growled out in frustration. I didn’t want to be too loud, but I needed to let some of the aggression out. Killing John did nothing for me. I thought it would make me feel fuller, happier. Instead, it made me feel worse… even if he did deserve to die.

Shrugging his shoulders, he took the empty seat on the leather couch across from me. “No. I just got off the phone with my dad and he wants to meet her. I told him we found her… More like she found us, but that’s beside the point. I think my dad can point us in the direction of where to find Mack.”

Stretching my legs out, I settled further into the couch. Another slam back of Whiskey, another feeling escaping.

“I just feel…” I wasn’t even sure where to start and why the fuck was I pouring my soul out to Jared. He didn’t care.

A smirk pulled at his lips. “We both know what you feel. There isn’t anything you can do to change it. I know your emotions are conflicted, but you need to give her some time. We need to let her go through everything so she’s strong enough to carry on when the time comes.” Was he already sticking up for her in a brotherly way? I wanted to laugh.

“Already pulling out the brother card, huh?” I said laughing.

Grinning, he shook his head. “Nah. But if you break her heart, I will probably break your face. How’s that for the brotherly card?” His comment sent a spiral of happiness to form within. Bree may have lost so much, but she had gained so much, as well. Jared, a person who would be a better brother to her than anyone I knew. James, a father who would claim her as his own. And me—a man, who against all odds, had opened his heart to love.

“I would love to see you try and break my face,” I taunted knowing very well even Jared wouldn’t be able to take me down. He could say he would all he wanted, but I knew better.

Rolling his eyes like a girl, he laughed. “Whatever. That’s not the point, asshole. The point is you know we lost my mom. It has only ever been my dad and me, and I don’t want to go into pussy foot country and spill my guts to you, but to have someone else is just… exhilarating. For the first time in years, my dad is moving around again. He’s coming here to see her, and though the truth was a damn—nation to her, it was a joy to us.”

The faraway look in his eyes told me he was going back there. I knew the look. I had endured it many times. He had lost his mother, too. Not to the same fate I had, but far worse. There was nothing to stop what had happened to his mother.

“It’s okay, Jared.” I tried to sound convincing, but he knew when to call my bluff, and there would be no better time to do so than now. I was a hypocrite. I knew it. I told people to move on from their own problems while I still boiled in my own.

“Just make sure she’s okay enough to talk later,” he said blinking slowly as if he were trying to bring himself back to the present. He couldn’t still blame himself for her death. It wasn’t his fault. He was just a kid.

“It wasn’t your fault, Jared,” I said surprising even myself. I never stepped into the arena with him. I never tried to be the friend he needed. Turning on his heels, I saw a deep anger rooted in his eyes.

Clenching his teeth, he spoke forcefully. “Take your own advice, Zerro. Don’t try to tell me how to handle my shit when you’re barely getting by with your own struggle.”

What was I supposed to say to that? Nothing, that’s what, so I did just that. I let him walk away, down the hall to his room, leaving me to sit in the emptiness to think about all the fucked up choices I had made. Funny, when you’re alone, your mind tends to wander. I started to wonder if everything would come out okay, if we all would get our happily ever after, or if we all were headed down the road to war. Only time would tell.