Inevitable (A Kingpin Love Affair 2)
“I will… Now take me home,” I said softly, sitting up, and pulling my pants on. The wetness of his come against my skin caused me to bite my lip. I was his in every way, shape, and form.
Zerro
My blood boiled the second Devon had texted me telling me he was taking her to a club. He had run into her, and instead of fucking calling me right away, he took her somewhere. He gave her what I couldn’t, even if it was only for a moment. Freedom.
I knew from the way she moved her body against mine being free of the chains of this life was exhilarating. She could breathe without restriction.
As she lay on our bed in Jared’s house, my mind wandered. I wasn’t lying to her when I said I wasn’t sure I could be the man she wanted me to be. I had a soft side, but under it all, I didn’t think I could let the harshness go. I was born this way, made this way and hardened by the harsh aspects of my life.
“You found her?” James questioned me as I took a seat in the living room. I wasn’t ready to go and lay next to her. It would just make me want to fuck her into submission over and over again. Running from me was stupid, so fucking stupid.
“Yeah, I did,” I mumbled my hands running through my hair. I was exhausted. The truth was though I was used to all this, all I ever had to protect was myself. Having to think about more than just myself—well, was just exhausting.
“I’m assuming from the look on your face it wasn’t somewhere you expected to find her?” What was with all the questions?
Arching an eyebrow, I asked, “What do you mean?”
“You just look slightly amused, and slightly pissed,” He added.
“Well, your daughter is a spitfire. The last thing I expected her to be doing was getting drunk and dancing out on the crowded dance floor.” I expelled a deep breath.
He let out a deep almost contagious laugh—contagious had I had something to laugh about.
“Must’ve gotten that from her mother. She was definitely a get drunk and take off her clothes kind of gal, I remember the one time—“
“No. No. I don’t want to hear about it…” I stopped him with my hands, really not wanting to hear about how Bree came about being made.
“Still, the woman was feisty as hell. She got that from her mother,” he commented smiling at me as his eyes kind of glazed over. I knew that look—he was scouring his mind for the one memory he was most fond of. I did it, too. When I thought of my mother.
“I’m sure she did.” I was never given the chance to meet her mother. Had I met her, would things have been different? I think so…
“You know, you and Bree aren’t that far off from the same kind of people. She’s lost just as much as you have. Maybe you guys could find the happiness missing in your lives through one another. I love her to death, but I don’t think Jared and I loving her will be enough to hold her together…” James’s talked as if he had experience with this whole ordeal. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to ask.
“Well, if it’s not you guys, it can’t just be me,” I said without thinking. There was no way, after everything that had happened that I would be the person to hold her to the earth.
“Give yourself more credit, son. We all make mistakes and have a long past of shit always creeping up on us. You made choices and did things because you had to. Killing John wasn’t easy on you, but losing your mother wasn’t either. You have lost your whole family to death.”
This man knew more about me than I was giving him credit for, and suddenly, I felt something I never had before—fear. Fear of the unexpected— of the future, and for Bree.
“You seem to know a lot about my family…” I blew out an uneasy breath.
Smiling, he said, “Yeah, I used to work for your father. Nothing serious. I never had to bury any bodies. He wasn’t just my boss though; he was my friend, as well. If he were alive now, he would be very proud of you, Alzerro.”
“Proud?” I stuttered over my words. That single word isn’t something my father would’ve spoken. Even at the ripe age of five, I remember him being hard on me. Screaming and pushing me. A five-fucking-year-old kid… Like I knew better.
“Yes, proud, he would’ve loved the young man you hav—”
“That I’ve become? The person he wanted me to be?” I was angry, and as the air filtered into my lungs, I still felt as if I wasn’t getting enough of it.
“Well, yes, in a way…” he added. All I could do was to stare at him, shaking my head. I was overwhelmed with the urgency to slaughter someone or something. Anger wasn’t something I knew how to handle well. Lately, I was never in control, which made my life harder.
“This is the man my father would’ve wanted me to be, I’m sure…” I laughed, except it wasn’t one full of laughter.
“All I meant is he would be proud…”
“Proud of what?” I bit out.
“You. The man you have become. I know your father wasn’t a good man, but he loved your mom. Almost the same as you love Bree.” Dazed and confused by his admission, I sat there shocked slightly… Was it obvious how much I felt for Bree?
“My father loved my mother, but not enough to end his behavior. In the end, he ended up dead.”
“Listen to what you just said carefully…” he mumbled under his breath as he got up and slipped from the room. What was he trying to say?
Bree’s words from the diner lingered in my mind. “Everyone has a choice, Zerro. Everyone has a chance to change things for the better. Your past doesn’t define you, and without a future path outlined, you’re free to do whatever you want.”