Breathe (Sea Breeze 1)

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I pulled the sliding overnight bag back up on my arm as I stepped off the elevator. The waiting room was full of excited, hopeful people of all ages. Grandparents bounced children on their knee and pointed and gushed over the babies in the window. This was a happy place where life started. I walked toward the double doors that led to the delivery rooms. I passed new dads, or almost new dads, standing around the coffee pot sharing horror stories of wives who had morphed into monsters. A few had decided that hiding out here was a better idea than witnessing the birth of their child. I wondered if Jessica had become one of these crazed monsters as I searched for room 321. I spotted it and took a deep breath before walking in. I was all Jessica had. There would be no one else standing by to hold her hand. It was just me, and I couldn’t go anywhere.

“Sadie, oh good, you got all the stuff. I guess I should have packed, but I wasn’t expecting this to happen so soon.”

I nodded, sat the bags down on a chair, and walked over to her. All sorts of cords were hooked up to her. Wet with sweat, her hair clung to her head, and she remained pale. Other than that, she wasn’t cursing and foaming at the mouth, which was what other women on this floor were apparently doing.

“Um, you look good,” I admitted.

She grinned and shrugged. “Well, it ain’t over yet, honey, and it gets worse. Right now my dilating has slowed, and I am high on Demerol. I know there is pain, but I just don’t seem to care at the moment.”

I nodded, not sure what that meant. “Well, do you need anything?” I asked, wanting to be useful.

“More ice would be nice,” she mumbled. I nodded and headed out to find ice. “Wait! You’re gonna need my cup.”

I turned around and went to get the plastic hospital cup sitting beside her bed. “I’ll be right back.”

Once outside the room, I went to find the ice and filled her cup up to the top. I wanted to make sure she was fine before I made the call to Ms. Mary. Once I had Mom fixed up, I slipped out of the room and back outside the hospital. I called Ms. Mary.

“Hello.” Her cheery voice lightened my spirits.

“Ms. Mary, it’s Sadie. I just wanted to call and let you know Mom is having the baby.”

“Oh, this is early, but don’t worry about that none. I had both my girls several weeks early, and everything was just fine. I’m coming to see you as soon as I get off work. Now, how are you?”

I smiled at the warmth that filled me when Ms. Mary worried about me. Jessica loved me, but she had never really worried over me.

“I’m fine, and Mom’s doing good. They have given her some Demerol, and she said it makes her not care that she is in pain.”

Ms. Mary chuckled. “That is some amazing stuff, I tell you. Well, I’ll be with you soon, and maybe there will be a baby to hold by then. You call me if you need me, do you hear?”

I couldn’t help but smile. “I will.”

“Goodbye, for now,” she said in her jolly tone that always made it seem like everything was going to be okay.

“Goodbye,” I replied before pressing end. I turned the phone back off and slipped it into my pocket.

By the time I reached Jessica’s room, I heard the familiar screaming and hurried inside. Jessica was sitting up with her legs spread, with the covers draped over her, thankfully. A nurse, who appeared very calm and collected, considering her patient was screaming profanities at her, smiled at me. I smiled at her apologetically and went to stand beside Jessica.

“Is she about to have the baby now?” I asked nervously.

The nurse nodded. “Yep, as soon as the doctor gets in here, she can begin pushing.”

My stomach churned. The whole idea of pushing and where this baby was going to enter the world from made me slightly lightheaded. However, another of Jessica’s bloodcurdling screams was like a slap in the face, and I quickly shook the thoughts out of my head.

“What can I do?” I asked, anxiously staring at the nurse.

“You can lock me in my room if I ever decide to date again!” Jessica yelled and grabbed my arm as another onslaught of contractions hit her.

I grimaced and fought the urge to pry her hands off me. As soon as it ended and she released her ironclad grip, I stepped out of her reach. The nurse grinned at me.

“That might be wise,” she whispered as she walked past me to check the machine’s beeping.

Jessica began screaming again, and this time the bed rail was her gripping post. I rubbed my arm, thankful to have put distance between us.

“Ah, the doctor’s here,” the nurse beamed, obviously ready to get this over with so she could escape the violence being spewed from my mother’s mouth.

“Are you going to stay for this part?” the doctor asked, frowning as he slipped gloves on his hands.

Jessica panted and nodded her head. “Yes! She is!” she yelled, and then let out another fierce scream.

I nodded.

He shrugged and took his place down by her feet. “All right, Ms. White, are you ready to do this thing?” he asked jovially, and I wondered if someone had to be mentally off to actually be glad he was in the room with a screaming woman about to extract a human from her body.

“Get it out!” she screamed again.

He smiled at me. “She’ll be back to normal real soon.” He winked and nodded to the nurse.

I stepped back toward Jessica’s head when he flipped the white sheet up over her knees.

“Ok, Ms. White, when the contraction starts, I want you to push as hard as you can,” he instructed.

Jessica panted, and then began screaming and pushing all at once.

“That’s great! Keep this up, and we will have a little one here in seconds.”

She stopped to catch her breath before her face morphed into the monster those men had been speaking of earlier, and she screamed and pushed again. We went through this several more times when I heard a cry that was too soft to be anything but a baby.

“Beautiful! You can relax now, Ms. White. He has arrived.”

The doctor had said “he.” I no longer cared about the messy scene going on down by her feet. I just wanted to see this little life that was now a part of mine.

The nurse wrapped him in a blanket and smiled at me. “You have a brother.” She handed the baby to Jessica who, although exhausted, smiled down at the little life in her hands.

“Hello, Sam,” she whispered.

I leaned down over her and studied his miniature features.

“Sam, meet your big sister, Sadie,” she said, handing the little bundle up to me.

I stiffened and stared at her like she was crazy.

“Oh, come on. He’s just a baby, hold him.”

I slid my arms under him and took him from my mother. His tiny, little fist fought its way out of the blanket, and he swung it around in the air and let out a small cry. I laughed. He was like a little miracle.

“We need to go clean him and let the pediatrician check him over. However, we will bring him back to eat very soon.” The nurse was standing in front of me with her arms held out.

“Okay,” I said through the lump in my throat. Reluctantly, I handed over this new little person I already loved and watched her take him away.

“Don’t worry, you were ugly, too, when you first came out, but after a few days you were the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.”

I glared at Jessica, who had laid her head back and closed her eyes.

“He’s beautiful now,” I countered. Already the little guy had me wanting to defend him.

She let out a laugh. “No, he looks like a prune. All new babies do.”

I frowned and tried to remind myself that Jessica was not normal, so I should not expect her to treat birth normally.

“Excuse us, but we need to patch some things up for your mom and move her to a room. Why don’t you go get something to eat and rest. This has all been very exciting for you, I am sure.” The nurse, who had been there through it all with us, smiled at me.

I left the room. I was in a daze at the aftermath when I stepped into the waiting room and was immediately surrounded.

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

“Are you okay?” Marcus was beside me touching my arm.

I gazed into his big, worried eyes and smiled.

“Back up, boy, and give her some breathing room. She didn’t just give birth, her mama did.” Ms Mary batted Marcus arm and beamed at me.

“Is it as beautiful as you are?”

I laughed and shook my head. “No, he is more beautiful than anything I have ever seen,” I answered truthfully. He’d looked nothing like a prune to me. He was perfect.

“I find it hard to believe any male could surpass you in beauty,” came another familiar voice. Preston shuffled his feet and grinned.

I hadn’t seen him behind Marcus. I smiled at him and shrugged. “Well, believe it,” I said, and they all laughed.

“Move out of the way you bunch of vultures. I can’t even see the girl much less talk to her,” Mr. Greg grumbled as he pushed Marcus out of the way.

“A boy is it! Well, ain’t that good news. Is he healthy and all?”

I nodded, glanced over to the nursery window, and saw him being brought in. “There he is. Come see.”

I turned and went to the glass. He was all bundled up again, but this time nice and clean. The nurse who had come in to take him saw me and brought him over to the window so everyone could see.

“He is a beauty.” Ms. Mary beamed

“Look at the little guy. He already has his fist up ready for a fight.” Marcus grinned at me.

I shook my head and laughed before turning back to my little brother.

“I guess if there was a pretty boy, then that would be one,” Mr. Greg admitted from his spot behind me.

I couldn’t agree more.

“Well, then, how is your mama?” Ms. Mary asked, walking over to the side of the window so others could come see inside as well.

“She is doing great. She, uh, got a little loud and angry towards the end, but she is good now and was dozing off when I left her.”

Ms Mary chuckled and shook her head. “I guess you won’t be wanting babies anytime soon after witnessing that.”

I laughed. “You’re right, I won’t.”

Marcus came up beside me. “Why don’t you let me take you to get something to eat while you’re waiting. You have to be hungry.”

I was getting ready to turn him down when Ms. Mary nodded.

“Let the boys take you for a bite. It will be an hour before they let you back into your mom’s room. Besides, when you leave tonight, it is going to be too dark to stop somewhere on your own.”

“Sure.”

I knew I wouldn’t have to deal with any deep conversations with both Preston and Marcus there. I was hungry and getting out of the hospital would be a good change of scenery.

Luckily, we didn’t have to squeeze into Marcus’s truck because Preston had driven his Jeep. Marcus, however, was stuck in the back, and Preston seemed extremely pleased. We all agreed on going to grab a burger at the Pickle Shack. I hadn’t had any free time since I started my new job, and my visits from Marcus were always short. I was glad we were going to get to sit and talk without my having to hurry off to work.

We slipped into a booth, and Preston shot Marcus a deadly glare when he slid in beside me. I was beginning to think that Marcus wasn’t overreacting, and maybe Preston did like me. Not that it mattered. My heart didn’t race at the sight of him, and the tingles didn’t come. My knees didn’t go weak when he smiled. He was just another guy. I knew that it would always be this way. I was getting better with dealing with the memories and the pain. Once I had accepted that I would never love someone the way I love Jax, it was a little easier to breath. He would always be in my heart, whether he wanted to be there or not. I just didn’t have enough room for anyone else. He was my air, my soul, and the keeper of my heart.

“So, you ready for your senior year?” Preston leaned on the table and grinned.

He had a good grin--even a sexy grin--but it did nothing for me. I sighed and shrugged, because the truth was I didn’t care anymore about school. I didn’t think about my future like I had before the summer began.

“I guess I am as ready as I'll ever be,” I mumbled.

He frowned, “Your senior year is supposed to be the best year of your life. You have to be excited about it!”

I wasn’t and I knew they wouldn’t understand, so I didn’t try to explain that my reason for breathing was gone. I nodded as if to agree with him and just kept my mouth shut.

“I leave in a week to go back to Tuscaloosa. I have to get me an apartment and get moved down before the semester begins.”