My Neighbor's Husband

I laugh.

“Margot, did you actually want my house to be burgled?”

She gasps.

“No, of course not. I guess … well, I guess I was just curious,” she admits.

I chuckle again.

“Yes, but you haven’t answered my question. Did you like what you saw?”

She bites her lip and looks away and then looks back up at me. But she doesn’t answer the question straight away.

“I have to ask, Mr. Jones. Was that your wife you were with? I heard that … well, let’s just say there are a lot of rumors in this neighborhood, and I don’t want to assume anything.”

I nod, my expression calm and relaxed.

“Amelia was my wife that day, but she’s no longer my wife anymore. We got a divorce,” I say matter-of-factly. “Actually, we finalized the divorce right after that session that you witnessed.”

Margot gasps.

“You signed the divorce papers right then? And got approval from the Court already?”

I nod.

“Well, we signed the papers right after, but Court approval took another two days. You’re now looking at a single man,” I say wryly. “I haven’t been single in over a dozen years, so if I’m coming off as weird, you’ll have to excuse me.”

Margot blinks at me, trying to absorb this all.

“But why would you hook-up with your ex-wife if you knew that the next thing you’d be doing was signing divorce papers? I don’t understand. Don’t you hate her guts?”

I let out the lungful of air I’ve been holding while I shake my head.

“Divorce can be more complicated than that. It’s not always a cut-and-dried “I hate you, next” type of thing. In our case, we married young,” I say. “We started out as freshman sweethearts and then tied the knot immediately after graduation. But when you get married that young, there’s a lot of opportunity for things to go wrong. People grow, change, and mature in different directions, and unfortunately, that’s what happened to me and Amelia.”

“So you don’t hate her,” Margot says slowly.

I shake my head again while pondering the question.

“No, I definitely don’t hate her. We started growing apart years ago, although it really only became palpable these last two years. We didn’t even sleep in the same bedroom anymore, you know. The bedroom you looked in on was hers.”

Margot scrunches her nose adorably and I can see her trying to see the bedroom in her mind’s eye.

“You’re right,” she says slowly. “I recall a pink coverlet as well as a lady’s vanity. Those weren’t yours, were they?”

I laugh, showing off a bright white smile.

“No, I definitely don’t have a pink coverlet on my bed. I have a blue comforter that’s very masculine.”

She nods.

“Yeah, I can’t see you using anything pink actually. But I guess my question is ‘why’? Why would you even touch her when you knew you’d literally be signing divorce papers next?”

I shrug my shoulders.

“To be honest, I’m not even sure. It was kind of a good-bye fuck, if you will. Excuse the crude words, but it’s true. Amelia and I were together a long time, and it was our way of saying adios to one another. Now, could we have accomplished that with a nice handshake and wave? Yes, definitely. But what happened happened, and it’s done now.”

Margot nods although I can still see that she’s confused.

“But Mr. Jones, I have another question. Is that usually how you make love to women? Upside-down with crazy acrobatics? I know these questions are really personal, but I have to admit I was blown out of the water. You could be in a porn movie, if you’re able to do that.”

I laugh again, genuinely amused.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, sweetheart. Do you watch porn often?”

She goes beet red again while stammering.

“Well no, but I was just saying that it’s possible. I mean, if I were imagining a scene, you could be in it.” That gets her into even more hot water, and I let out a huge belly laugh to her chagrin.

“I understand, Margot. You’re saying that my innate athleticism combined with my handsome features, muscular body, and huge tool make for a successful male porn star right?”

“No!” she says with a shocked expression while waving both hands in the air. “Well, maybe yes, if you put it that way.”

I merely grin at her this time.

“It sounds like you liked what you saw.”

This time, Margot has relaxed enough to nod slightly while shooting me a lustful look from beneath her lashes.

“I did,” she admits. “It was wild and so hot. I can’t believe men and women do that with one another.”

The opening has come and like a tiger, I pounce.

“Then sweetheart, would you like to try it out for yourself? I’m more than happy to give you a preview, and seeing what you’ve told me, I think you’ll really enjoy it. So what do you say? Should we adjourn to your bedroom?”