Hot Sugar

But it’s enough.

I’ve got her where I want her.

I’ve put her in her place

Because this woman is mine, and leaving her on edge is my right.

But why did she look at me that way? Because Carrie should be begging and panting, her body undulating with heat. And she is, for sure. But there’s also an air of reserve, like the woman’s holding back. WTF?

No matter. I’ll get her to come around, and when she does … it’ll be even better.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Carrie

I don’t know what to think. On the one hand, everything’s perfect. I just got paid, right? The bulging envelope sits on my dresser, cash practically spilling everywhere.

But I can’t look at it. Something about all that money feels dirty.

It shouldn’t feel dirty.

This is what I signed up for after all.

To be Mason Channing’s sugar baby, at his beck and call.

He says jump, and I ask how high?

Or more accurately, he says bend over, and I say yes please.

But I thought it was becoming something different.

I thought maybe, just maybe, I meant something to the billionaire. After all, why would he help with my parents? With my sister? Why would he rent a ginormous apartment for me and Nicole, if he didn’t feel anything?

But that envelope made it all come crashing down. When he thrust it into my hands, my throat closed, the air freezing in my lungs.

Because I knew what it was immediately.

Money.

What this is all about.

A transaction, nothing more.

I’m just the paid help after all. Maybe not quite the maid, but one step up. I’m a maid who does his decorating and takes off her clothes when he commands.

I give him my pussy, I let him fuck my ass, and the entire time, there’s a smile on my lips, a winsome, “Yes sir.”

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Or even worse … it was.

This is what being a sugar baby means.

And staring at my reflection, self-hatred courses through my veins.

So you caught feelings! my conscience screams. What did you expect? You were an eighteen year-old virgin desperate for money, up against a much older alpha male. What did you think was going to happen?

And the thing is, it’s still true.

I’m still eighteen.

Maybe not a virgin anymore.

But I still need money.

So where does that leave me? What do I do now?

And slowly, tears course down my cheeks. Mason invited me to Paris, but I don’t want to go. I don’t care about the clothes, the cars, or even the apartment. All I ever wanted was a safe space for me and my sister, somewhere cozy and warm where we wouldn’t be threatened.

Mason’s given me that and so much more.

I stare again at my reflection, the pale face, the haunted brown eyes. Because it’s still Carrie, for sure. But I’m also someone different now. I’m a woman who’s known a man deep inside, pulsing and intimate. I’ve held a man’s heart in my hands, as his lips breathe my name.

My inner voice screeches again.

Held his heart in your hands? His lips breathing your name? What, are you hallucinating? That’s just a fantasy, like unicorns and rainbows.

And the tears come even faster then. Because it was a dream. I thought we felt something for one another, something that went beyond the pure physical. I thought he cared about me, and in a way, I guess he does.

Mason wants me to be safe.

He wants me to live nearby.

He wants me to be happy, to have all the trappings of a good life.

Because you know what? A happy sugar baby makes for a better fuck partner.

There, I said it.

He doesn’t care about Carrie as a person. He cares about having a willing and wet female, slutty and open, ready for his dick. That’s what Mason wants.

And slowly, my heart crumples.

He doesn’t want me, not really.

It’s my own fault.

My thoughts and dreams were myths only.

I got carried away.

Suddenly, the walls feel like they’re caving in, the silence pounding on my brain.

I have to get out.

I have to tell him I’m not going to Paris.

I have to get real. I’ll figure it out somehow. I’ll tell Nicole we have to leave these digs, that we have to find another way to make a living. Maybe I’ll get a job as a waitress or a barista. Maybe Nicole can help, taking some babysitting gigs after school.

But it’ll break her heart. This was our first stab at stability away from our parents. Our first attempt at setting up a household without Jim and Rhonda dragging us down.

And look where we are now.

In an impossible situation.

My heart breaks, tears pouring down my cheeks.

Get with it! The voice inside screams again. This is what you bargained for!

And nodding slowly, I turn to survey the room. But my eyes see nothing, blurred with tears.

Because I’m a big girl. Old enough to make it work.