Committed (Betrothed 4)

I continued to listen to her emotional monologue.

“It wasn’t easy for me to leave. It isn’t easy to live here alone. When I imagine you with someone else, it makes me sick to my stomach. When I told you I loved you, I meant it. That is something that will never change. So, don’t paint me out to be a heartless bitch that turned her back on you. I wish things could be different, but for as long as Maddox is around, it can’t be. Be mad all you want, but the person you should be mad at is you…not me.” The phone went silent when she hung up.

I kept the phone to my ear and listened to the dial tone. I opened my eyes once again now that the conversation was over. Well, it wasn’t really a conversation…just a very heated monologue. I should call her back and apologize, but I couldn’t. She was right, but that didn’t take away my anger.

I was angry at her for being so beautiful.

Angry that I couldn’t have her.

Petty and spiteful that someone else would get her someday.

And I would be here…miserable and alone.

“Is it that time of the month?” Maddox stared at me from across the table in the conference room, leaning back in his chair while his arms were perfectly straight on the armrests. His blue eyes were always expressive, whether he was playful or angry. A week had passed since my incident with him in the strip club, and things had been a little tense since that moment.

I turned my gaze on him, keeping up the same apathy.

“I’ve got an Advil in my purse. Do you want it?”

I turned my look away and ignored him.

“Come on, we’re friends. Unburden all your earthly troubles.” He raised his arms, making a welcoming gesture.

“If you think we’re friends, then you’ve never had a friend.”

His eyes slowly turned frosty, his playful demeanor disappearing. “Careful. I’m the only friend you’ve got.”

I continued to stare at him, feeling the slight threat in the room. I didn’t have much concern for my own safety because I had nothing left to live for. Andrew would be better off without me, and there was no hope for Sofia and me. There was nothing Maddox could do to me that actually frightened me. “You really think that’s what we are?” I didn’t understand his psyche, so maybe he truly believed that. He wasn’t fueled by women, money, or possessions. He seemed to have nothing, but everything. His men were loyal to him, but I suspected that was out of fear, not affection.

He cocked his head slightly, like a dog that was trying to understand what was just said. “What else would we be?”

“Do you rape all your friends’ wives?”

He shrugged. “I’ve never raped anyone before. Your wife was my first.” He winked.

I wanted to reach across the table and grab him by the throat. But since that was what he wanted, I stayed in my seat. I felt like a bug under his shoe. One wrong move and I would get squished.

“You want my advice?”

I almost laughed because it was absurd.

“Don’t live in the past. There’s so much shit we have to do.”

I rubbed my hand across my jaw because I didn’t know how else to bottle my anger. I couldn’t imagine living like this every day, subjected to this cruel torture. How could I look at the man who hurt my wife every day…and let him call me a friend?

“This partnership will be much more fruitful if you move on. Look at everything we’ve done together. We’ve been more successful than you and Damien ever were. We’re a match made in heaven. And now that Sofia is no longer your wife, you can focus much better.”

I averted my gaze because I couldn’t stare at him any longer. The only thing I wanted to focus on was killing him. I couldn’t help but live in regret because if I had killed him sometime in the past, none of this would have happened. Or if I had killed Damien a long time ago, none of this would have happened either. Sometimes it seemed like all these things were happening because they were meant to happen. The universe wanted to keep Sofia and me apart.

Maybe it was time I started to listen.

Maddox continued to stare at me as if he expected some kind of rebuttal.

I had no rebuttal.

I had nothing.

I’d just stepped out of the shower when Ash called me. With a towel around my waist, I took the call. “Yeah?”

“Why do you always sound so gloomy when you answer the phone?”

“Because I am gloomy.”

“How are things goin’ at Maddox and Sons?”

I didn’t say a single word because it wasn’t funny at all.

Ash picked up on my silent hostility. “How are you?”

I was tired of people asking me that all the time, always timid like they expected me to explode. “Stop asking me that. I’m shitty, and I’ll always be shitty.”