Committed (Betrothed 4)

He didn’t say it back with his words, but he did with his gaze. His body worked at the same pace to make love to me, to keep the moment going as long as he could.

My hands slid into his hair, and I pulled his face close as I locked my ankles together around his waist. “Hades, I love you.”

7

Hades

Was it possible to feel elated and feel like shit at the same time?

Yes.

I woke up the next morning with Sofia beside me. The bed was foreign, the room was unfamiliar, but it felt like home. She was cuddled into my side with her arm over my waist, her swollen belly nestled into my side. Her brown hair was all over the place from where I had touched it the night before.

She was perfect.

I stared at her for a long time because I knew it was the last chance I’d ever get. Last night was a mistake, but the temptation had been too strong to walk away. The second she grabbed me by the front of the shirt…I was a goner.

That’d always been my weak spot.

I’d had sex with the woman of my dreams, her belly big because I made it big. It was a fantasy of mine—except in reality, she wasn’t my wife anymore. When I was home alone with just my hand, she was always my wife.

I was surprised she’d assumed I had been with other women.

How did she not understand how obsessed I was? How did she not understand how much I loved her? Sometimes I wondered if she was as smart as I gave her credit for. Hopefully, Andrew wouldn’t inherit her ignorance.

I lay still because I wanted this to last as long as possible. Once I was gone, I would feel alone again. These months of separation were supposed to help me move on. Sleeping with her only reminded me of how amazing we were together. It only reminded me of what I’d lost.

Reminded me of what Maddox took from me.

Thirty minutes later, Sofia woke up. Her body tensed slightly. Before she even opened her eyes, she reached out for me like she was afraid I’d slipped out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. When she realized I was right there, she relaxed.

Listening to her tell me she loved me was a dream…and a nightmare. Watching her love me like this was worse. I was still angry with her for leaving me, even if it clearly wasn’t easy for her. My hand moved over her large stomach, and I put her at ease. “I’m right here.” I didn’t have the opportunity to spend much time with Andrew because we were living in different cities. If she were still my wife, I would be able to sleep with my hand on her stomach every night, feel my son kick when he was being ornery.

Maddox took all that away from me.

She placed her hand on mine and returned her cheek to my shoulder. She took a deep breath and relaxed again.

I rested my head against the headboard and enjoyed the comfortable silence for as long as I could. Last night was perfect. As soon as I’d finished, I was inside her again, making love to her throughout the night and fighting against a rising sun. She was just as sexy pregnant, actually more so. There was something about her curves and the changes to her body that excited me. It was probably an evolutionary thing since I knew her baby was mine.

It was sexier than the hottest piece of lingerie.

But I couldn’t get attached…because I had to leave. It would’ve been smart to slip out in the middle of the night, but I didn’t want to hurt her in that way. I didn’t want her to feel abandoned, or like it was so easy for me to leave.

It was the hardest thing in the damn world.

When I’d waited long enough, I took a deep breath and spoke the words out loud. “I have to go.”

She didn’t move, as if she didn’t hear what I said.

I was patient and gave her a few minutes to comply.

She eventually moved off me and left the bed. She grabbed her dress from the floor and pulled it on, hiding all her voluptuous curves and that gorgeous ass. Her tits were nearly twice the size, and while I liked them, I actually like the way her hips widened more, the way her thighs thickened. I liked all the changes.

I forced myself to stop staring and got to my feet. Piece by piece, every article of clothing returned to my body. My shirt was wrinkled from the way she’d yanked on it, but I would never throw it away. The silence filled the room as we both got ready, the occasional dressing noise filling the quiet. It was awkward for a million reasons, which was why I shouldn’t have let this happen in the first place.