Tempted by the Texan

That should have been enough to send her into a blind panic. The fact that it didn’t came as a bit of a shock.

She wanted children, but did she want one now? Was she ready to become a mother?

It certainly wasn’t a good time for that to happen. Knowing Jaron the way she did, if she were to become pregnant there was a very good chance he would insist that he needed to do the right thing and marry her. And as much as she loved him, that wasn’t going to happen. At least, not where things stood with them now.

There were too many issues between her and Jaron that hadn’t been addressed. Unfortunately, even if they did get everything out in the open, the problems might never be resolved, and bringing a child into that would be unfair to all of them. Besides, as far as she was concerned the only reason two people should consider getting married was because they loved each other and it was a natural progression of their relationship.

Forcing herself to relax, she tried to remember what Bria and the other women had told her. They had suggested that she should be patient and wait. When he was ready, he’d trust her with his secrets and tell her what had been holding him back. She could only hope they were right.

Eight

A few days after his family’s get-together, Jaron propped his forearms on the top rail of one of the enclosures in the calving shed as he waited for the newborn bull calf he’d just helped deliver get to its feet. Thankfully things were slowing down with the heifers and there were only a handful left that hadn’t dropped their calves. He was glad the next wave of cows to give birth had already had calves in the past and weren’t as likely to have the problems a first-time mother might experience.

Every time he thought about first-time mothers or something giving birth, his heart stuttered and he had to take a deep breath in an attempt to settle himself. What if he’d made Mariah pregnant?

He still couldn’t believe he’d needed her so badly that he’d forgotten to protect her. Not one time since he’d become sexually active in his late teens had he failed to remember one of Hank’s rules for life. What was there about Mariah that had caused him to lose his head and forget something as important as using a condom when they made love?

Swallowing hard, he briefly thought about having a child with her. If things were different and he’d had a halfway decent start in life, he’d like nothing more than to have a family with Mariah. But he’d never allowed himself to contemplate fatherhood, because having a kid had never been something he ever thought would happen. Unfortunately, one careless moment sure as hell had him thinking about it now.

Of course, if Mariah did become pregnant, there was no question that he’d do the right thing and make her his wife. But he couldn’t help but be concerned about taking that step. Although he would gladly lay down his life to protect her and keep her from harm, how could he be sure that he hadn’t inherited some part of his father’s cruel nature? Even the slightest bit would be totally unacceptable.

He had no problem being able to control his temper and he’d never been prone to violent behavior. But his biggest fear had been and always would be that he’d turn out to be like his old man.

Caught up in his turbulent thoughts, Jaron welcomed the interruption when the cell phone clipped to his belt rang. But when he looked at the caller ID he felt the icy fingers of dread squeeze his chest. The call was coming from the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. He only knew one person doing time, and he was the last man on earth Jaron wanted to talk to.

How the hell had the bastard found him? When he’d had his last name changed, the judge had ordered the court records sealed due to Jaron’s age and the reason for his request. And why, after twenty years with no contact between them, was his old man calling now?

Jaron’s first inclination was to ignore the call. He hadn’t seen or heard from his father since he’d testified against him in court all those years ago. And that was just the way he’d like to keep it. But unless Simon Collier had changed, he’d keep calling until he got hold of Jaron. That thought was even more objectionable than taking the call now.

Answering the phone, he breathed a little easier when the caller turned out to be a prison chaplain.

“Mr. Lambert, my name is Reverend John Perkins. I’m a chaplain for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice and I’m calling to let you know that your father has been transferred to the hospital unit in Galveston. I was with him when the doctor told him that he only has a few days left,” the man said, his voice sympathetic. “Simon asked me to call and tell you that he wants to see you right away. There’s something he needs to tell you before he passes.”