When I Was Yours

His eyes flicker to mine. “It’s not me yelling that I’m worried about.”

“Me?” I let out a laugh. “Why would I yell? I’ve got nothing to yell about—unless you scratched my car, which I would be kinda pissed about—”

“We’re still married.”

My brain freezes.

“I’m sorry, what?” I let out an awkward-sounding laugh. “For a second there, I thought you said that we’re…still married.”

“I did. And we are.”

“I-I…what?” All I can do is blankly stare at him. “We’re married? I don’t understand.”

“I never filed the annulment papers that you so kindly left for me. So, yeah, that means we’re technically still married. I thought you should know.”

It’s right then when my head explodes.

“You thought I should know? We-we’re married. We’ve been married for the last ten years. Jesus Christ! I can’t…even…” I’m struggling to make sense as well as breathe.

For the last ten years, I’ve believed my marriage never existed in the eyes of the law even though it meant everything to me. And now, I’m hearing that’s not the case at all.

We’re still married.

My body and brain are jumping between confusion to elation to betrayal, which is funny coming from me because I betrayed him in the worst possible way.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I take some deep breaths.

After a long moment, I look up at him. “You never filed the annulment papers?”

He slowly shakes his head, eyes fixed on me.

“Why would you not do that?” My words come out on a whisper of hope.

Hope for what? That he still loves me?

I almost smack myself in the face for that one.

Adam shrugs.

That sets me off again.

“Jesus, Adam! I’m really confused here! I know I left you, and I did a horrible shitty thing by doing so, but…hell! I’ve—we’ve been married all this time, and I didn’t know. There’s just something fundamentally wrong with that. What if”—I’m mentally searching around for something to throw at him—“I’d gotten married to someone else?” I have to stop myself from laughing at that one. I’ve been on exactly one date in the last ten years, so a second marriage wasn’t exactly on the cards, but that’s beside the point. And for some reason, right now, I want a reason to be mad at him. “You would have made me a freaking bigamist!”

“Look, I’m sorry—”

“You’re sorry? Well, that’s okay then!” I throw my hands up. “How could you have done this?”

I see fire light behind his eyes.

His palms slam down on the counter, and he leans close to me. “Apparently, as easy as you fucking leaving me without a word.”

My eyes widen. “You did this for revenge?” My words come out on a gasp.

I see a muscle pop in his jaw as he works it.

“Nice. Good to know what you think of me, Evie. No, it wasn’t for fucking revenge. I was hurt and in denial that you’d left me. I searched everywhere for you, hoping that you’d come back to me. So, filing those papers was the last thing on my mind. By the time I realized what I’d done, the time had lapsed to allow me to file. I had no fucking clue where you were, so it’s not like I could call you up and let you know, was it?”

He’s got me there. I don’t know what to say to that.

I look at the floor, shifting on my feet, feeling instantly shitty again. I wrap my arms around myself. “I guess…that makes sense.”

He lets out a humorless laugh. Then, I see his hands lift from the counter. By the time I look up, he’s on his way to the door.

“You’re leaving?” I hear the panic in my voice. I really hope he didn’t.

Stopping, he turns back to me. He looks suddenly weary.

My heart aches for him. Well, everything in me aches for him.

He rubs his forehead with his hand. “I came to tell you about the mistake I’d made. I needed to be honest with you.” Those words feel so incredibly pointed, and that’s probably because they are. “I’ve done that. Now, I’m going home.”

“You don’t think we need to talk about this? Discuss what we’re going to do.”

“Yeah, we probably do. But not right now. Right now, I just want to have a drink and go to fucking bed.” He moves the distance back between us, pulling something from his inside jacket pocket. “My cell and office numbers.” He places a business card on the counter and slides it toward me. “Call me tomorrow, and we can talk.”

Then, he’s gone.

And I’m still married.

Adam and I are still married.

Holy. Shit.

I lift the card from the counter, looking down at it.

ADAM GUNNER

CEO, GUNNER ENTERTAINMENT

I already knew he worked for the studio.

One time, about five years ago, I looked up his profile on Facebook, using Casey’s profile. I couldn’t see much as he had it set to private, but I did see his work info, showing that he worked for the studio. I remember how sad I felt at the time. I knew how much he hadn’t wanted to be a part of that world. I had been his reason to stay away, and my leaving had sent him straight back.

I had always hoped that he would fight back, stay away.

But he didn’t.

And I was to blame for that.

The choice I made was to blame for that.

But we weren’t supposed to still be married.

Honestly, I don’t know how to feel about that.

We’re still bound by marriage.

I guess I’m terrified and…thrilled.

I’m still Evie Gunner.

Well, legally anyway. But in my heart, I always have been. It’s why I could never move on.

But I know I’m no longer in Adam’s heart. He let me go years ago.

I guess it’s time for me to let him go now.

I’m so done for.

The way I feel about Adam, after knowing him for such a short amount of time, can’t be good for me. I mean, it feels good, but it’s definitely dangerous.

We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks now, and I’m smitten, totally smitten. I’m a smitten kitten. And clearly a massive geek.

We’re at the beach. It’s early morning, and I have to be at work in a few hours. But we’re all here this morning, surfing at the beach just outside Adam’s house. Max is out there with Grady, Base, Tad, and Paige. Adam and I quit surfing a while ago. We’re sitting up on my rock, and I’m sketching a picture of them all surfing.

Adam is here, with me. He’s wrapped around me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder, while he watches me draw.

His lips skim over my shoulder, and his teeth graze my skin, making me shiver. His fingers trace over the skin on my stomach where they’ve made their way under the hem of my tank top.

We haven’t done anything more than kiss.

He knows I’m a virgin. I told him that on our fourth date. We were making out, and it was getting pretty heavy. I didn’t want to lead him on, to think he’d be getting sex, which I wasn’t ready to give to him, so I was honest with him. And he was really cool with it. He told me he’d wait for when I was ready. I don’t know when that will be, but trust me¸ if I’m going to lose my virginity to anyone, it will be with Adam.