When I Was Yours

But he’s leaving to go to Harvard.

I open my eyes. “Harvard,” I say. “If we did this, I couldn’t go with you. I can’t leave Casey and Dad, especially not while Casey’s still so sick.”

He grasps my face again. “I’m not going to Harvard. I’m staying here with you.”

“Adam, you can’t. It’s a great opportunity—”

“That I don’t want. I never wanted to go to Harvard. Ava and Eric told me I had to go. Then, I’ll have to go work for Eric. I don’t want that. You know I don’t. All this time, I thought that I was trapped, that I had to do what they said, join the family business, but I don’t. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to. So, I’m not going to. I’m finally doing what I want, and what I want is to marry you.”

He looks so alive in this moment, more alive than I have ever seen him.

And I love it. I love him.

“Can we really do this? Get married?”

“We can do anything we want, babe. You’ve made me realize that. Being with you has made me realize a lot of things…that I can do anything I want. I don’t know exactly what I want to do yet”—he chuckles—“but what I am certain of is that whatever I do, I want you by my side.”

“Where would we live?” I’m trying to look at this from all angles before I give him an answer. I’m being practical, one of us has to be.

“The beach house. It’s paid up until the end of August. We can stay there until we find another place.”

“My dad and Casey need me with them though.”

“Then, we’ll all live together. We don’t have to plan everything. We can work the rest out later. All I need right now from you is a yes.”

For a long moment, I stare up into his eyes, those turquoise eyes that I adore so much. From the instant I saw those eyes, I knew that I could spend a lifetime staring into them.

“This is crazy. You know that, right?”

“Maybe it is. But I don’t fucking care. Just…just say yes, Evie.”

My heart is thudding against my ribcage. My thoughts are running a mile a minute. But each time, they circle back to one word.

“Yes.”

The look on his face…I’ll remember it forever.

“Yes?”

“Yes”—I smile so big that it feels like my face might split in two—“I will marry you, Adam Gunner.”

He lets out a sound of total happiness, and then he swoops me up into his arms, his lips crashing to mine. He kisses me so fiercely that I can practically feel his love for me pouring in through his kiss.

My palms are pressed up against this chest, and I can feel his heart racing beneath them.

He lowers me to my feet, but his lips seem reluctant to leave mine as he continues sweeping soft kisses over my mouth.

“I love you so much,” he murmurs, his fingers threading into my hair.

“I love you, too.” I run my fingers over his cheek. “So, we’re really doing this, huh?”

He presses his forehead to mine, our noses touching. “Yeah, we’re really doing this.”

“And how will we do this? I mean, how and when will we get married?”

A grin appears on those lips of his that I love so much. “How does tomorrow sound?”

“Tomorrow?” I gasp. “So soon?”

“What’s the point of waiting? I want to make you mine as soon as possible.”

“I’m already yours.”

“But I want to make you mine officially, so no one can ever take you away from me.”

“No one’s taking me away, Adam. The only way I’ll leave is if I want to. And there’s no way I’ll ever want to leave you.” I push his hair back from his face. “You really want to do this tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I do. I want you to be my wife sooner rather than later.”

His wife.

His words touch deep inside of me. “Well then, tomorrow it is.” I swallow. “But where in the hell can we get married on such short notice?”

A grin spreads across his face. “Vegas, babe.”

“Vegas?” A strangled laugh escapes me.

“Yeah. Have you ever been before?”

“No. I’ve never had a reason to go.”

“Well, now, you do.”

“But…Casey’s appointment is next week…”

“We’ll be back before that with time to spare. I only need a few days of your time, and with you being off work for the next three days, it’s perfect. Meant to be. So, what do you say?”

I let my emotions take me over, allowing myself to feel the happiness he’s offering me. I wrap my arms around his neck, levering up onto my tiptoes so that we’re almost face-to-face. “I say, take me to Vegas, Adam Gunner, and make me your wife!”

He laughs deeply, his smile so big that it almost breaks my heart.

His hands find my ass, and he lifts me off the ground. I wrap my legs around his waist.

“You’re my family now, Evie. This is it—you and me forever.”

I rest my nose against his, staring into his ocean eyes. “Forever,” I echo.

The intro starts to play, and I see Evie freeze in the passenger seat beside me.

It’s like the radio is playing a sick joke on me. I never listen to this song. Ever. I have successfully avoided hearing it in nearly ten years, and now that Evie’s sitting here beside me as we drive to the place where we met and fell in love, our wedding song starts to play on the fucking radio.

Well, fuck Bon Jovi and their fucking “Livin’ on a Prayer.”

I reach over and change the music station just as Jon Bon Jovi launches into a full warble. And what do I get? Bruno Mars wailing “When I Was Your Man.”

For fuck’s sake.

This is not good, but it’s definitely better than listening to the song we got married to. And it’s definitely better than sitting in complete silence for the rest of the journey.

We’ve hardly said a word to each other since I picked Evie up from outside her apartment building in Culver City forty-five minutes ago. She told me she’d wait outside for me. I guess she didn’t want her dad or Casey to know she was going away with me.

And yeah, I know how long we’ve been in the car. I’ve been watching the clock. There’s not much else to do when sitting in the car with your soon-to-be ex-wife, whom you’re still fucking, than look at the road ahead, listen to the radio, and continuously check the time.

I’m just thanking God that we’re only a few more minutes away from the beach house. Otherwise, I might have to shoot myself.

I guess I didn’t think how it would be, actually spending time with Evie since we started sleeping together. Not that we actually sleep. We just fuck. Then, after we’re done, I go and hide in the shower until she leaves because I don’t know how to deal. Afterward, I spend the rest of the night and the next day telling myself that it won’t happen again, that I’m done. Finito, she is out of my system.

Until I find myself standing outside the coffee shop, waiting for her to finish working. Yes, I know her work schedule.

I’m so screwed.

I’m addicted to her again. My obsession is in full flow. I can’t believe how stupid I’m being. But I can’t seem to stop. I don’t know how to stop.