Fool Me Once

Just as he’s about to walk past us, I move to the left just enough that he has no choice but to stop or step into the grass. When he looks at me confused, it’s confirmed.

“You don’t remember me.” It’s not a question. I can see it in his features, in the way his brows are knitted together, curious and confused as to why I’m stopping him from walking by.

Keegan has no clue who I am.

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t.” His eyes descend to my lips, and I must be frowning because he adds, “Would it help if I said I wished I did?” His lips quirk into the dimpled smile he shares with my son, and I freeze. I should tell him he has a son, remind him who I am. But I’m frozen in my spot. Every time I imagined finally finding Keegan, our conversation always went so differently in my head. For one, he remembered me. I always fantasized him being so excited to learn we somehow created a baby together. Oh my God. I was… am… so stupid.

“Sorry, you’re right,” I lie. “You’re not the guy I thought you were.” He has no idea I mean that in more ways than one.

Grabbing Zane’s hand, I step around Keegan and speed walk away, not slowing down until I’m at the door to Zane’s school. It’s on campus, for students and professors to use, and Zane has been attending since last year. It’s not cheap, but it’s convenient. Before that, Sierra and I made sure our schedules were opposite, so one of us could always be home with him.

Brenton stays quiet while I walk Zane in, who runs straight for Melissa. I smile when he gives her the gift and she squeals excitedly over the doll he picked out. And I laugh when she hugs him and he hugs her back.

“I’ll be back in a few hours,” I promise him just like I always do when I drop him off.

“Bye,” he says, giving me a kiss on my cheek. “I love you.” The words out of his mouth right now stir something inside me, and I about lose it. But I hold it all in until I’m out of the building and on the sidewalk.

“That was him,” Brenton says, and I nod. He’s the only one who has ever seen Keegan.

“Yeah,” I say, throwing myself into Brenton’s arms. “And he didn’t remember me.”

“There’s no way someone could ever forget you,” Brenton says softly. “He didn’t want to remember you.”

I pull back and meet Brenton’s gaze. “You think?”

“C’mon, Blakely, I only met the guy once, but I remember him. You spent damn near a week with the guy.” His words squeeze my heart, the blood draining from the organ and leaving me feeling broken. He’s right. If Brenton could remember Keegan after all this time, Keegan would surely remember me.

And then a thought hits me. “What if he was in an accident and lost his memory?”

“Blakely, this isn’t a Lifetime movie.” He’s right, but Keegan not remembering me due to a medical condition would make it a lot easier to accept than him just simply not remembering me.

We walk to class, hand in hand, but Brenton doesn’t say anything else, leaving me to my thoughts. If what Brenton said is true, and Keegan is only pretending not to remember me, then that would mean he doesn’t want me in his life. He had to have seen Zane with me. Did he recognize him right away and not want to claim his son? Or maybe he didn’t see him, and he just didn’t want to rekindle an old flame. It would make sense, since he never called or texted after getting my number.

We walk into class and, like always, head straight for the middle. Not too close to the front but not in the back. Because we’re running late from my meltdown, we have to push past several students who are sitting on the edge. A few minutes later, a man who looks to be in his early sixties, steps up to the podium and introduces himself. “My name is Professor Finnigan, and this is Psychology of Inequality. If that’s not on your schedule, now is the time to run… run for your life.” He winks and everyone laughs.

I’m still laughing when another gentleman makes his presence known, immediately ceasing my laughter. My eyes dart from the guy standing next to the professor, to Brenton, who looks as shocked as I do.

“This is my TA, Kolton Reynolds. He’s working on getting his master’s degree and will be helping to teach a few of my courses this semester.”

My head whips around to look at Brenton, my eyes widening. “Did he… just say…” I can’t even finish my sentence.

“Yeah,” Brenton says. “His name is Kolton.”