Fool Me Once

“Fine.” I give in. I’m a mom. I pick my battles. “If anyone ruins your book, I will not be buying you a new one.”

Zane is already stuffing the book into his backpack and then heading to the front door.

The entire walk to his school, he skips and hops and plays I spy. I have no clue where he gets his energy from, but I’d love to bottle it up and use it on myself.

When we get to his school, Zane runs straight over to Melissa, who is holding the doll Zane bought for her in her arms.

“Have fun, and I’ll be back to get you soon,” I say to him.

“Bye, Mommy. Love you!” he yells back, already taking his book out of his backpack to show Melissa.

“Thank you so much for the doll,” Tarah says. “Christmas was hard,” she admits softly. “Melissa loves that doll so much.” Tarah, not only goes to school full-time, but works part-time at the college daycare. We’ve had a few playdates over the last year since she started college, and from what I’ve gathered, Melissa’s dad is a deadbeat who decided one day he didn’t want to be a husband or a dad anymore, leaving her on her own. When she went after him for child support, he showed zero income because he’s getting paid under the table. Most of her school is paid for thanks to financial aid, but she still has to pay for her living expenses and care for Melissa.

When I listened to her story, it made me that much more thankful for my sister. When I found out I was pregnant, she could’ve pushed me away, but she didn’t. She stepped up, and it’s because of her in four months I’ll be graduating with my bachelor’s degree and moving on to the graduate program—as long as I get in.

“You’re welcome. Zane was so happy she loved it.”

“The daycare is doing a ‘bring your parents to school’ day next week.” She hands me a flyer. “The kids have been practicing some songs, and they’re going to perform.”

“I bet this will be adorable.” I imagine Zane and his little friends singing and performing. “I’ll be there. Do you need me to bring anything?”

“Nope. Just yourself.”

“Sounds good. I better get to class so I’m not late, but we should do coffee this week.”

“For sure!” She smiles. “Have a good day!”

When I step outside, Brenton is waiting for me. When he didn’t show up this morning to walk with us, I texted him to ask if everything was okay. He didn’t text back.

“What’s up?” I ask as we fall in step together, walking toward our first class of the day.

“You tell me,” he demands.

I stop in my tracks, not liking his tone. “Is this about Keegan?”

“Did you tell him he’s Zane’s dad?”

“Of course I did… because he is.”

“You don’t even know this guy!” Brenton fumes. I’ve never seen him this mad before, and it has me feeling uneasy. Subconsciously, I take a step back, needing some space, but he steps forward. I put my hand out to stop him from advancing, and thankfully he gives me space, not stepping any closer.

“I knew him enough to sleep with him,” I say honestly. “We created a baby, and you know how long I’ve waited to find him. So, I don’t understand why you’re acting all mad and shocked that the moment I actually do find him, I tell him he’s Zane’s dad.”

Brenton’s glare hits me hard. “So, what? You’re all just going to be some perfectly happy instant family?” His question burns like a slap to the face. He’s not asking because he cares, but rather because he thinks the idea is ludicrous.

“What is your damn problem?” I hiss. “You’re one of my best friends. You should be happy for me, for Zane. You know how much this means to me. I have zero family aside from Sierra. I never wanted that for Zane, and you know it!” I scream the last part as hot, angry tears spill down my cheeks. “No, I’m not planning to become some instant family, but at least my son won’t grow up without a dad! And Keegan said he has a mom and a dad. Plus, there’s his brother Kolton. Zane will have grandparents and an uncle. Sierra and I don’t have any of that. When our parents, and then grandmother, died, we were left as foster kids. At least if something happens to me, he’ll have a family.”

I didn’t realize until this moment, the relief I suddenly feel at knowing if something happens to Sierra and me, Zane won’t be forced into foster care. He’ll have family, who will love and take care of him. Real blood relatives he can turn to.

As the salty liquid flows down like a waterfall, the sound of a board draws my attention. Keegan is standing a few feet away. And based on the way his jaw is ticking, he heard Brenton’s and my conversation. How much, I’m not sure.