Through His Eyes

“He’s just someone new,” I explain, not wanting him to feel bad.

“I know.” He grins, not the least bit upset. “Lachlan is a good guy, and Kinsley is a good judge of character.” I allow his statement to swirl around in my head for a few seconds before I push it to the side.

When Kinsley is finally worn out, we say bye to Jax and Willow. I always feel bad with how much time they spend with Kinsley and me. They never complain, but I know they love their time alone as well. On Sundays, which is their only sure day off, I try to keep Kinsley out of the house so they can have time to themselves. Now that Kinsley is in school full-time, I’ve been thinking more and more about the two of us getting our own place. I’ve looked at a few places online, but it kind of scares me. I’ve never lived on my own before. It’s something I know I need to do, though. For me and my daughter.

“Mommy and I always get a hot dog at the park for lunch,” Kinsley tells Lachlan, who is sitting on the blanket, drinking a bottle of water. “Wanna go?”

“Oh, Kins,” I say, “I’m sure Lachlan has other plans.” Like my brother and Willow, I think Sunday is his only day off as well.

“Actually, I don’t,” he says. “A hot dog sounds perfect.”

“Yay!” Kinsley yells. “Oh! Can you go to the science museum with us too? I can show you all the planets you drew on me. Please.” I stifle my laugh at the way she flutters her eyelashes and exaggerates every letter in the word please, just like she always does to her uncles to get her way.

“That sounds like fun,” Lachlan says, not even bothering to speak to me first.

“Lachlan, can I talk to you over here for a moment?” I drag him off the blanket and away from where Kinsley can hear us.

“What’s up?” he asks, knowing full well what the hell is up.

“What’s up is you just agreed to pretty much spend the rest of the day with us.”

“Yeah…I know,” he says, the corners of his mouth turning up into a lazy smile.

“I know you don’t have kids, but when you’re approached by a child, you don’t just say yes without speaking to the parent first.”

Lachlan chuckles. “I may not have my own, but I have several nieces and nephews.”

“Okay, then you should know this.”

“I know it…” He nods. “But I also know if I were to ask, you would say no.” He grins, and damn it, if it doesn’t do something to my insides. Why can’t he have an ugly smile?

“So, you’re using my daughter to get to me?” My voice comes out harsher than intended, and Lachlan’s playful grin instantly diminishes.

“Now you’re twisting shit,” he says. “I asked you out, and you said no, despite the fact I know you felt something between us.” He raises his pierced brow, daring me to argue. “I wanted to get to know you, and the last time I checked, your daughter is a part of you, which means I want to get to know her as well. And at this moment, out of the two of you, she’s the only one willing to give me a chance.” His shoulders sag in defeat, and I suddenly feel like a mega bitch. He’s right. I did feel something—I do—but I’m too damn scared to act on it. “I wouldn’t use anyone,” he continues, “especially a child, but you don’t know that because you don’t know me.”

He walks away, leaving me standing here in shock, confused as to how we went from playing soccer to arguing. But I know how we got here. Through my insecurities and hang-ups. Instead of giving Lachlan a clean slate like everyone deserves, I’ve already placed him in the same category as Rick, simply because he’s a man—and that isn’t fair to him. I’d like to think I’ve come a long way in the last several years, but at the same time, I still have a lot further to go.

I watch him bend down to my daughter’s level and talk to her. I’m not sure what he’s saying until I see her tiny brows furrow and her head shake.

Speed walking over to them, I catch the end of whatever he’s saying. “…can’t wait to see what you want me to draw the next time you visit the shop.”

“Okay,” she says, her voice soft.

“See ya later, Mini-Q,” he tells her before he turns to me. Without meeting my eyes, he says, “Have a good day, Quinn,” then takes off toward the park’s exit. Lachlan using my full name shouldn’t bother me. It’s what I told him to use. But for some reason, it does. It makes me want to drag him back and tell him to call me Q.