Never Got Over You

I retrieved my car from the valet and sped home to my penthouse condo, making sure to tell the doorman that Evelyn was no longer welcome. The moment I stepped inside, I cracked open a beer and walked onto my expansive terrace.

From where I was standing, I could see all of the things that lured millions of tourists here year after year—Lake Union’s waters, the soft night lights of the city, and of course, The Space Needle.

Below, on one of the smaller (much smaller) balconies, a group of college kids were dancing against the glass railing. They were posing for pictures in superhero and cartoon costumes.

I watched for several minutes as Snow White pretended to give Darth Vader a blow job. Pinocchio then decided to make it a ‘threesome’, but Spiderman thought there was room for four.

What the hell am I watching?

I shook my head as I heard the sound of Shannon’s signature ringtone.

“Yes?” I answered my phone.

“I’ve sent an intern to handle the NDAs and I’ve revoked Evelyn’s access to every building on campus.”

“This couldn’t be said in an email?”

“I sent you one for your records,” she said. “I’m calling because it’s that time of year for me to tell you, Throw it away. Once and for all.”

“Throw what away?”

“Um…” The sound of papers shuffling was in the background. “The memo says throw away that blue and white Kate box.”

I dropped my beer to the ground, instantly shattering the glass to pieces.

“Just so you know, this is like the fifth year in a row that this reminder has popped up for me,” she said. “You still have yet to confirm that you’ve done it. Will this October thirty-first be the time you finally follow through?”

I didn’t say anything. My mind was too busy spinning, processing my recent thoughts against the truth.

“You ever going to tell me who Kate is or why this date is relevant?” There was a smile in her voice. “I mean, now that I think about it, you may have this day confused with something else, you know? It’s just Halloween.”

“Thank you, Shannon. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” I ended the call, and stepped back inside my condo.

Sliding the balcony door shut, I stared at the massive glass bookshelf on the far side of my wall. I walked over to it and opened the bottom left drawer. Hesitating, I pushed aside a few mementos from my life as ‘James’—old watches, a stuffed cello, and pictures, and saw the ‘Kate box’.

It wasn’t really blue and white as Shannon’s memo said. It was a simple cardboard box and it was full of painful reminders that I could still remember like it was yesterday. Our pictures, our postcards, our memories. All ruined by her broken promise, her betrayal.

“I’ll wait for you, James. No matter how long it takes…”

I rolled my eyes at her lies and picked up the box. I carried it across the condo and into the kitchen, finally throwing it deep into the trash where it belonged.

There. It was official. Kate no longer had an effect on me.

I helped myself to a few more beers, read through more annoying emails, sent a few “You’re fired” messages to some people I no longer liked, and then I made it to my bed.

I managed to sleep for about four hours before I woke up and returned to the kitchen. I took the Kate box out of the trash and returned it to the bottom of its drawer.

“It’s not just Halloween…” I said to myself, sighing. “It’s the night we first met.”

…

Kate

~ October 31, 2008 ~

“AND ONE … TWO … one, two, three, four …”

I drew my bow against the strings of a cello, letting out a deep breath as the first note of Mozart’s Lacrimosa reverberated through the concert hall.

As the conductor moved his hands, the notes flew from my strings and into the air?suspending me in a different reality. In that version of my life, I hadn’t just caught my best friend since childhood fucking my boyfriend days before my recital, I actually liked my parents, and I only played music when I felt like it. There were no fake friends who consistently lied to me, no inheritance being held over my head whenever I “stepped out of line,” and most of all, there was absolute freedom.

As I neared the coda and watched the notes on the page come to an end, the real world slowly returned, and the dream of a different life disappeared. The lights in the amphitheater brightened, and a roaring round of applause filled the room.

“Encore! Encore!” calls came from the balcony and the house seats, and within seconds, the cheers transitioned into a standing ovation.

I stood to my feet and took a bow, wishing I could feel proud of this moment?like this was actually my dream. Like being known as one of the country’s most talented cellists was an honor. Yet, after fifteen years of grueling training under the best teachers, all I felt was hatred and obligation.