Never Enough (Meet Me in Montana 1)

Chapter One

BROCK

“Daddy, when will you be home?”

My eyes closed, and I pulled in a slow, deep breath. I was positive the cracking sound coming from the vicinity of my chest was my heart breaking in two. Yet again. I hated that I was on the road and away from my son as much as I was, but I was trying to build our future. I only needed to bull ride, and win, for another year or two. I had plenty of money saved up, but if I could get at least one more championship under my belt, I would be guaranteed endorsements, and my son would always be taken care of.

Just a few more years of this, and then I can stop.

“I’ll be home Monday, buddy. I know I’ve been gone a couple of weeks. I had some things I had to do for work.”

“That swucks.”

“Blayze Brock Shaw!” I heard my mother shout.

I forced myself not to laugh and could only imagine the look on my mother’s face as my five-year-old son cursed. The result of being around my older brother, Ty, most likely.

“Blayze, you know better than to say a bad word,” I scolded. “That’s no way for a gentleman to talk.”

“But Uncle Ty and Uncle Tanner say that word all the time, Daddy. Why can’t I say it? You said so yerself: I’m a big boy.”

Sighing, I raked my fingers through my damp hair. “You are a big boy; you’re right. But you’re still not allowed to say bad words. Now, you apologize to Grams before she washes your mouth out with soap.”

“Again? I’m outa here, Daddy!” my son exclaimed.

I heard the phone drop and the sounds of his retreating cowboy boots taking him far away from my mother. I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I heard Mom pick up the phone and call after Blayze in his mad dash to get away.

“Brock, that boy of yours is going to drive me to drinking.”

“What did he mean again, Mama?”

“He got himself a mouthful of Ivory soap last night when he told Rose Monroe to go suck it after the PTA meeting. Of course, he throws a w in the word suck and has to make it sound all cute.”

This time, I did laugh.

“Brock Shaw, it is not funny.”

“I’m sorry. I really am, Mama. You have to admit, though, it’s pretty funny, and I’m sure he’s heard you say it about Rose a time or two.”

When she replied, I heard the smile in her voice, and I ached to be home. Stella Shaw was the type of woman who would do anything for anyone, but piss her off, and my mama could be a bear.

“Well, I’ve never said it to her face. And, yes, it was a bit funny. Especially when that uptight woman tried calling me out in front of the entire PTA last night about you not being around to raise your own child.”

Ouch. That hurts.

“You still feuding with her?” I asked.

“No. Yes. Maybe. Hell, I don’t know. The woman talked bad about my son. That type of thing doesn’t go unpunished, friend or no friend. She crossed a line when she insulted you.”

“Mama, she’s been insulting me since Blayze was born. You about done punishing her and ready to move on?”

“Ha! Hardly.”

Rolling my eyes, I cleared my throat. “Well, I guess I’d better get me some sleep. I never seem to have a good draw in Tacoma.”

“Brock?”

My breath stalled in my throat. I hated this part of our daily conversation. It was when I heard the fear in my mother’s voice, even though she tried desperately not to show it. The uncertainty that me following my dreams as a professional bull rider might not be the wisest thing anymore. Especially because I was the only parent my son had. It was something I fought internally every single day.

“I know, Mama.”

“I know you know, but I’m gonna say it anyway. Be careful and do your thing, but remember who’s really in charge.”

I nodded, even though I knew she couldn’t see me, and replied, “Yes, ma’am. May I say good night to Blayze?”

My mother called out my son’s name. “Blayze, Daddy wants to say goodbye! No, I’m not gonna wash your mouth out. Not this time anyway!”

I chuckled and again felt the deep ache of missing home. It didn’t take long for Blayze to get back on the line.

“Daddy, I’m gonna rope me a calf tomorrow!”

The drop in my stomach nearly made me sick. “Blayze, I was gonna show you that when I came home on Monday.”

“Yeah, I know, but Uncle Ty said that he could show me, ’cause you’re busy.”

My hand balled into a fist, and I counted to ten. I was going to kick my brother’s ass. Just because he couldn’t be on the circuit with me, he had to make sure I was as miserable as him. The only problem was, he was using my son to do it.